Nothing Changes On New Year's Day

Lemmy wishes you a Happy New Year!!!

Back when I was a "world renowned" club DJ, I used to play two records at midnight on New Year's Eve... a stripped down version of U2's "New Year's Day" followed by "Eighties" by Killing Joke... (I continued this well into the 90's, much to the puzzlement of the drunks on the dance floor below me...)

I guess those two songs kinda sum up how I feel about Jan. 1...

The lyrics "Nothing changes..." and "Push, push, struggle!!!" back to back...

And yes, later in the evening, when the loyal inebriated patrons would refuse to leave in an orderly manner, I would kindly make an announcement, stating that everyone (excluding those who were planning on sleeping with a member of the club's staff) must depart the premises asap. Then I would hit the ugly lights and play Motorhead's "The Ace of Spades" at full volume...

You should have seen them scurry... like roaches in the school cafeteria... Ah yes, nothing says romance like the dulcet tones of Lemmy's nicotine stained rasp...

A friend of mine mentioned not long ago that he saw me as a "glass half full" type of guy... I rebutted that he was quite mistaken... for I'm more in the neighborhood of a "glass smashed on the floor" type of guy...

Yep. It's going to be that kinda year... Can't wait 'til 2010...

I truly wish I had drunk more today... but hey, there is still plenty of time left, right?

adios.

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Tommy Tee... Goodbye My Friend

I got a phone call yesterday... the kind of call no one ever wants to receive...

Tommy Tee, a father, a friend, and manager of New Model Army, left us suddenly, succumbing to a heart attack...

Upon learning the tragic news, the first thing out of my mouth was (after about 30 seconds of stunned silence), "Tommy doesn't die."

If only that were true...

Tommy had the energy of 100 men... He was the epitome of what a rock and roll manager should be... part salty sea captain, part cunning businessman, part travel agent, part disciplined headmaster, part long haul trucker... he could do it all... and did it with a fervor and love few can match...

For those of you who don't know, the business of rock and roll is very hard work... On a typical day Tommy would drive to the venue, help unload and set up, sit through sound check, handle meet and greet, handle press and photogs, handle business with the club promoter, set up and man the merch table, run the lights and/or put out any fires during the show, settle up with club and/or promoter, help break down and load up after the show... and then, after all that, sometimes he would drive late into the night towards the next venue... and yet, with that insane amount of work and responsibility, he'd still somehow find the time to enjoy a pint or two with you...

Up before everyone, to bed after everyone... and handling everything in between... booking, promo, merch, sales, licensing... the BUSINESS of music...

Tommy was legendary in music circles... Last year while touring Europe, everywhere I went I'd hear tales of Tommy... he was respected and loved... It seemed as if he had worked with just about every roadie on the continent... no one ever had anything but great things to say about him...

Another thing that impressed me about Tommy was his incredible memory... year after year, he would travel the world, meeting thousands of people and yet, at every gig, I would watch people would come up to him and he'd know them by name... New Model Army is not like other bands... their fans are a family, they share access and kinship with the band that is rare in this day and age... time and time again Tommy saw to it that friends and fans and travellers (some trekking in from thousands of miles away) were welcomed and made to feel special... he was the ringmaster...

Tommy could occasionally be prickly, he did not suffer fools... more than once he'd put me in my place when we'd have a slight disagreement on how things should be run... And when we differed he never did so with any disrespect... (the music industry is notorious for being populated by insufferable jerks... Tommy was miles above that sort of behavior...)

Tommy was my mentor in the music industry... He was a man with a giant warm heart... he made you want to walk through brick walls for him... I am going to miss his dry humor... his wide, beaming grin... his cheerful eyes... his strong handshake... his warm hugs...

Tommy leaves behind a wife and three children (whom he talked about all the time and loved very very much), along with a band of friends that depended upon him for just about everything...

Tommy, I lift a pint to you on this Christmas, in tribute to you...

You will be missed greatly, and never forgotten...

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Mauricio

Photo by P.S. Zollo... used without permission...

Mauricio Saravia was born in Uruguay in the early seventies... at the age of five he was diagnosed with McCune-Albright syndrome (polyostotic fibrous dysplasia)... multiple surgeries almost took his life on several occasions and he lost the sight in his left eye... Symptoms of the disease include bone fractures and deformity of the legs, arms and skull, varying degrees of skin pigmentation, and endocrine hyperfunction... He wasn't supposed to make it into adulthood... and yet he did... with a vengeance...

Saravia spent a life dodging genetic bullets... a life wracked with pain... a life trapped in a body that failed him miserably and consistently... and yet despite it all I'm told he described himself as "happy"...

Let that sink in for a moment... keep it in your heart for safekeeping... and pull it out the next time you think you've got it bad...

Mauricio Saravia was a great artist and fluid, meaningful poet, he was a man who refused to allow his grave disabilities to frame his artwork...

His work has the soulful depth of an alternate geography, one unfamiliar to our feet... it merges interplanetary nature with industrial humanism... it is intensely spiritual yet void of obvious mortal form... it is a dreamscape...

I believe we've all been given a set of wings at birth... some of us had them torn from us by the ills of poverty, violence or disease... many more of us grow our wings to maturity but are too frightened or lazy to fly...

And then there are those who have been given wings that are sickly, decrepit, beyond repair... wings that are destined to eventually fail them... and yet somehow they find a way to soar above us all... unencumbered and uninhibited...

That is why Mauricio Saravia flew so high... he knew that his time was limited... he had much to say and do and so little earthly time in which to get it done... he shattered our fear, and challenged us to look past our immediate ignorance and repulsion of his tortured physical being... to let us see the raging beauty beneath it...

Eclipse

Mauricio Saravia will be laid to rest tomorrow... his tortured body finally defeated the light that flickered within him... a victim of a collapsed lung... a victim of a health care system without common decency and empathy... a victim of being un-insurable... a victim of those who couldn't see past his disfiguring shell to view the beautiful core beneath...

It is their HUGE loss... and ours...

Kundalini Spirals

John Lennon once said "Love is all you need"... At first glance, it's a statement that is often dismissed as naive and childlike... yet if you let your mind float over it for a while, the wisdom soaks in...

For it's a busy world we live in... fast, furious, faceless, and often soulless... we stress over our vices... money, politics, sport and entertainment... and yet in the end what does it all mean? How much of it actually enriches us, or are we in effect enriching it?

It would not surprise me if his paintings suddenly became very desirable among collectors... Why does it take someone to die for us to realize the genius of their work? He was right there before us, for over thirty eight years... There are times in your life when you know you really missed out on something special... when you simply got there too late... he obviously meant a lot to many people, among them my friend Zoe, who has been having a rough time of it the past year...

Goodbye Mauricio...

I'm a lesser being for not having known you...

Mauricio's artwork can be seen here... mauriciosaravia.com

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It Is Good To Be King

I was always under the impression that in a democracy, government decisions are made in a democratic manner... as in, a bill is introduced... there is debate... (money and favors are exchanged) and then the bill is either passed or vetoed... It's all right here in this helpful video below in case you wish to brush up on your civics...



However it seems as though civics have changed somewhat since I attended grade school... apparently when you are the president, you also adopt the powers of an infallible monarch...

Who knew?

As you read this, Georgy Porgy's goon squad is racing through the slick brass and marble hallways of DC, greasing the palms of death minions, litigious stooges, gutter snipes, murdering military industrialists, corporate whores, death cronies, and grimy fisted lobbyists with every last shekel they could scrounge up...

Damned be the environment, damned be the economy, damned be democracy... What we've got here is the glorified back end of favoritism, nepotism, and cronyism in action... there are fat pimpled albino asses to be kissed... white elephants to be celebrated... Satan babies to be spawned... Yep... line right up at the George W. Bush kissin' booth for some right on right wing tongue twistin' action... (Special announcement: Would all bankers please report to the Hank Paulson sauna complex for your complimentary reach-around...)

By the time George relocates to his all white gated community in Texas on January 21st, a whole new and improved cornucopia of greed called "Midnight Regulations" will have hit the ledgers...

You see... There is a gaping loophole in US law which allows a sitting president to pass last-minute legislation into the Code of Federal Regulations, which for all practical purposes, makes them law... without ANY approval from Congress...

Let freedom ring!!!

To be fair, other presidents have used this loophole to extend their agenda past their sell-by date, but W. is taking to it with the vigor of a drunken frat-boy attached to the business end of a beer bong on his 21st birthday... This is, in all essence, George's final "fuck you" statement to us all... his middle finger extended... thumbing his nose... his tongue wagging... his naked ass mooning out the school bus window for all to admire...

While the media obsesses over sociopath governors, dead toddlers and auto bailouts... While most Americans are wondering if they'll have jobs or homes tomorrow... While most of America is in a perpetual state of carbohydrate induced bliss... W. is using brilliant sleight of hand to gift his partners in crime one last box of legislative confections... the introduction of weakened workplace safety measures, rollbacks on environmental and endangered species acts, legislation that inhibits a woman's right to choose, and NRA goodies that will make certain more of our unstable citizenry will be packing heat at your kid's soccer game...

George's gift basket of ill-repute also includes the time-honored Republican standard of "self-regulation"... because lord knows that you can trust bankers, oilmen, accountants, brokerages, and insurance companies to regulate themselves much in the same way you could trust that Nero's starving lions wouldn't treat the Christians as delicious, meaty cat toys...

Obama's team will have their work cut out for them if they wish to roll back any of these new laws... you see, undoing a law puts it into the open, where a long and expensive litigious process has to take place before it can finally be rescinded. It's not like the Obama administration will have anything better to do other than clean up one more in a long list of unsolvable clusterfucks left in the wake of the USS Incompetence...

Let's take a gander at some of the pain Bush is about to bring:

The introduction of legislation which allows coal companies to dump waste from strip-mining into valleys and streams. (Nothing better than chopping off the top of a mountain and then filling in a valley... call it "landscaping" or "Oklahoma-ization")

The introduction of legislation that will allow the building of coal-fired power stations near national parks. (Because nothing says family vacation better than a case of black lung...)

The introduction of legislation allowing people to carry loaded and concealed weapons in national parks. (Because nothing says family vacation better than a sucking chest wound...)

The introduction of legislation allowing health care workers to opt out of giving treatment for religious or moral reasons, thereby putting a woman's right to choose at risk, among other things... (hmmm... just who I want treating me in the ER trauma center as I'm bleeding to death... a Jehovah's Witness who doesn't believe in blood transfusions...)

The introduction of legislation that will allow truck drivers to continue driving for 11 consecutive hours. (Ah yes... what could be better than a completely tweaked out of his mind long hauler with anger management issues listening to a Toby Keith cd locked on repeat... Hey folks, here is some unsolicited investment advice... purchase some shares of Red Bull and crystal meth...)

The introduction of legislation surrendering government control of rerouting the rail transport of hazardous materials around densely populated areas... (Remember to breathe deeply when that misty cyanide cloud hits your humble abode... you'll go quicker that way...)

The introduction of legislation that will allow millions of acres to be mined for oil shale... (Hmmmm... maybe this last one we can do something about...)

Wanna be a tiny thorn in their side?

The NDRC (led by such luminaries as Robert Redford, Leo DiCaprio, Billy Joe Armstrong, among others...) is launching an emergency campaign to stop Bush from awarding over 160,000 acres of pristine Utah canyonlands to oil and gas speculators on December 19th. These remote canyons have been unspoiled for thousands of years... and if Bush has his way, they will be destroyed beyond repair...

You can sign the petition here:

Stop Bush's Giveaway of America's Redrock Wilderness

My god, at long last, is there nothing these people will not destroy in order to obtain gooey black muck? Never mind that oil prices will have to be at least $200 a barrel (that should tell you where the price of gas is headed...) for such an exercise to be profitable, because this oil is deep and literally within the sediment... it has to be cooked out, a long and poisonous process that is costly in more ways than one can imagine...

So yeah... let's keep looking for pristine areas to destroy, let's keep looking for that last fix to get us through the long dark night that the end of oil has planned for us... let's raze the whole fucking planet looking for anything combustible until all that is left is carbon dust, and then let's burn that as well...

On a completely unrelated note, the Fed just dropped rates to ZERO... so there you have it folks... free money... everything is going to be JUST FINE...

Have a peachy day...

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The Great Carpocalypse

One can't help but notice the difference in how Washington treats Wall Street in comparison to Main Street. The Fed and the Treasury donate great gobs of money in order to rescue failed financial institutions with no strings attached... while the auto industry (you know... people who make things instead of steal things...) has to make concessions and put on a dog and pony show just to borrow a paltry $14 billion... is it me or does something seem out of order here?

In September Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke and Treasury Secretary (and Goldman-Sachs shill) Hank Paulson went boogedy-boo and spooked Congress into approving somewhere in the ballpark of $8.5 trillion in virtual money for their pals in the "banking" industry... To get this bailout they relied on the tried and true All-American traditions of extortion, threats, and bald-faced lies...

Benny and Hank pulled off this heist (let's call it what it is...) while cunningly shunning any possibility of oversight, claiming immunity from any future prosecution, and illegally altering tax law without anyone's knowledge or approval... Most of the money, about $5.5 trillion, comes from the Federal Reserve, which as an independent entity does not need congressional approval to lend money to banks or, in "unusual and exigent circumstances," to other financial institutions. In other words since they get to print it, they also get to decide where it goes, who gets it and who (which would be you and me...) pays for it in the end...

And now we have the Big 3 auto makers... GM, Chrysler (and to a lesser extent Ford), all banging their gold plated tin cups on the table, begging for a measly $14 billion bailout (in relative terms) so they can stay in the business of building cars no one wants...

Last Friday, Republican senators were successful in making sure the Big 3 were denied their auto bailout legislation, on the basis that it didn't provide enough oversight of the ailing companies and could end up being a huge waste of taxpayer money.

Oh really?

So it was the lack of oversight that got them religion... and concern over wasted money?

Where the hell were Republican Senators McConnell, Shelby and Corker during the $8.5 trillion bank bailout? Am I supposed to assume that the OTC derivative disaster is all cleaned up and that the banks have a plan for solvency? Absolute bullshit. (And isn't it interesting that Senators McConnell, Shelby and Corker all come from states which subsidize foreign auto makers... hmmm... and yet, they refuse to assist the domestic auto makers... who are their direct competition... surely that has nothing to do with their militant stance on this... surely not...)

It smacks of vicious irony that Congress appropriates hundreds of billions of dollars with lightning speed and no questions asked to banks whose greed and criminality destroyed the global economy while holding a carrot and stick over the heads of a major industry brought to its knees by this financial armageddon.

Understand this brilliant logic... they are deeply concerned over $14 billion, but not at all worried about $8.5 trillion... Well kids, that gives a whole new meaning to that tired old phrase "penny wise and dollar foolish"...

I am against bailouts in principle... in a free market economy, businesses should be allowed to prosper or fail based upon their ability to compete... but we don't have (nor have we ever had) a free market economy... we have a rigged ponzi scheme and in the spirit of fairness (HA!) if the ruling classes are going to get bailed out, then the same should apply to people who actually work for a living...

Hell, what do they care? Its all just pixel money anyhow... it came from nowhere and that is exactly where it is going... just numbers that are transferred from bank to bank, akin to a swirling death matrix bent on devouring itself...

C'mon... why not let us all go down in blaze of diabetic coma induced glory... give every man, woman and child a million dollars and let the chaos of mass consumption savagely reign upon every culturally devoid hellhole of a shopping mall across this great busted land...

You got a better idea? Yeah? I didn't think so...

Ok... back to reality...

Let us take a look at the numbers to get a better perspective of what is actually on the table... First of all, $14 billion is a mere 2% of the $700 bailout TARP fund we've given to banks... but wait, it gets worse... that $700 billion is less than one tenth of the $8.5 TRILLION already committed to financial rescue initiatives...

So... Just how much money is $8.5 trillion? Well, its damn near 60 percent of the estimated gross domestic product of the United States of America.

Current Score: Wall Street $8.5 trillion, Detroit $0
(Looks as if the Lions aren't the only losers in the Motor City...)

It is important to note that as with anything involving governments and spending, the true cost to taxpayers will likely be far greater than what appears on the current ledger. Given the unprecedented size and complexity of these programs and the fact that many have never been tried before, it's impossible to predict how much they will cost taxpayers. The final tally won't be known until most of us are pushing up daisies... but our great grandkids will know, that is for damn sure... and they'll be cursing our names...

Jim Rogers (one of the world's most brilliant investors) says that US banks are flat busted. Jim Rogers knows his shit. This is nothing more than don't ask, don't tell economics, as the balance sheets of these troubled banks are nothing but pure fantasy. Where is the oversight when it comes to the banks, who are the ones responsible for this entire mess? And let's not forget that it was the Republicans' lack of oversight in the financial sector that led to the disastrous economic conditions beyond the control of the automakers... As credit and jobs vanished, so did car sales.

Not that I mind conditions for loaning money... One can't deny that the Big 3 have been severely derelict in modernizing their designs and business practices. You could demand that Detroit design and sell vehicles that reduce our dependency on foreign oil. You could demand that the management be given a pink slip. You could demand that they design and build light rail and other green friendly modes of mass transit...

But nooooooooooo... According to the Republican senators, the failure of the entire auto industry was due to organized labor... Their sole demand was a $20 an hour cut in union wages, pension and health care.

Might I ask what concessions they demanded from the Wall Street bankers? Or did the Republican wing of the senate force concessions from low level bank tellers before approving the wholesale giveaway of our economic future? I presume when the airlines come for their handouts (trust me, it's coming) the flight attendants will take the fall for that industry's failure...

Using that logic, the failure of the Iraq war should be blamed on the lower enlisted troops and not the idiots at the Pentagon... perhaps the Republicans would like the soldiers to take a pay cut as well...

Hey, shit rolls downhill, right?

This should be seen for what it is... as nothing more than a concerted effort by the Republicans to destroy the UAW, one of he last bastions of organized labor in this country... so incensed are they with the working middle class that they have chosen to throw them out into the street...

Do the Republican Senators understand that if they deny assistance to Detroit, millions more jobs will be lost? The short answer is yes... and you want to know why?

Because the sinking of the domestic auto industry will saddle Obama with an even more catastrophic economy, one that will tank his administration the minute he takes his oath (Sorry to be a bummer, but he's pretty much screwed as it is...) Understand that we are in the midst of a class war here... there will be no grace period, no honeymoon, no spirit of bipartisanship with the Obama presidency. The Republican wing of the senate are doing everything in their power to make certain that Obama starts his presidency in reverse, with four flat tires, a blown engine and a Denver boot on each wheel.

Even Dick Cheney emerged from his undisclosed tomb to state that if the auto bailout doesn't get done it's Herbert Hoover time for the Republican party... the Bush Administration does not want this whole thing to go to shit on their watch... It is quite obvious that the Republican Congress has cut themselves off from their "great" Oxford ducking leader and gone rogue... These idiots are so full of loathing that they are blinded to the consequences of their actions. If the Republican senators hang the northern industrial states out to dry they can say goodbye to any support for at least a generation... or two...

These guys hate unions with a passion... they hate everything unions stand for... fair wages, health care, workplace safety, pensions, affirmative action and the fact that the unions overwhelmingly supported Barack Obama for president.

Here is an idea... Do you really want to get rid of unions? Then fucking pay people a decent living wage in a safe environment... treat them with respect... had management initially done that, no one would have ever had a reason to start a union in the first place...

If it wasn't for unions we'd still have 12-year-olds working 70-hour weeks in filthy and dangerous dirt floor factories for a dollar a day... like in Pakistan...

But then again, perhaps that is the right wing establishment's goal...

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Duck!

Wouldn't it have been a great coincidence if they had been Nunn Bush loafers?

Nothing frames a successful presidency better than a beginning marred by a stolen election and an ending spent ducking a journalist's fashionable footwear...

By the way, if the symbolism of this act is lost on westerners, getting loafers chucked at your melon is a great insult in the Arab world... The shoe tosser, Muntadar al-Zeidi, a correspondent for Al-Baghdadia television, will no doubt be hailed as a hero...

enjoy...



As for me, I laughed so hard I cried...

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Worst President Ever

The LA Times recently revealed two pages of White House correspondence entitled "Speech Topper on the Bush Record." The feel good memo essentially lends "a few helpful suggestions" to Bush cabinet members and high-level staffers in order to summarize how the Bushy one would prefer his two term choo-choo crash to be remembered... as an "unalloyed success" no less... perhaps "colossal fuckup" would have been more accurate...

Among the memo's bullet points are these whoppers:

* He "kept the American people safe" after 9/11... (I think the operative word here is AFTER...)

* He upheld "the honor and the dignity of his office" (Politspeak for "He didn't get blown in the Oval Office.")

* He "responded with bold measures to prevent an economic meltdown" (Bold Measures?!?!? Prevent?!?!? Excuse me for a moment, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit... all that monkey did was hand our entire economy over to that henchman Hank Paulson so that he could steal the future earnings of our great, great, great grandchildren...)

* "He promised to raise standards and accountability in public schools and delivered the No Child Left Behind Act" (Yeah, he delivered it all right... unfortunately he forgot to fund it... as for the raised standards, can someone please tell why India has more engineers than we have people?!)

* "He lifted the economy through tax cuts" (Actually he briefly "lifted" the economy by deregulating the hell out of it which therefore allowed banking institutions to go hog wild, which in turn brought us the lovely market conditions we enjoy today... along with 533,000 lost jobs in the month of November... but hey, at least they got their taxes cut... permanently)

See folks, it's not so bad... a frown is a smile, only upside down...

Apparently big blue meanies such as yours truly have gotten it all wrong these past eight years... How typical of me to accentuate the negative... Little insignificant things like the epic collapse of the housing market and major banks going tits up... a spiraling stock market and a devalued currency... but hey, I've always wondered what horse meat tastes like... guess I'll soon find out... and I love being served by 80-year-olds working double shifts at IHOP... nothing like hard work and perseverance... until you drop dead... that's the American way!

And will you look over here... flawed intelligence in the flawed run-up to a flawed war, along with over 4,000 dead soldiers and countless civilian casualties... but hey, democracy is messy, you are gonna need to break some eggs to make an omelet... ever try to make an omelet with the barrel of an M16..? Apparently the eggs fight back and even worse, they taste icky...

Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo? Hey... what's wrong with a little frat-house hazing...? so it gotta a little out of hand... stop being such pussies... and besides, everyone knows they are guilty... of having non-western names and brown complexions...

Katrina? Clearly an act of God... and besides, that is all just water over the levees now anyways...

Think your 401K looks bad now? Just imagine if president dunderhead had been able to privatize social security...

And who can forget the Harriet Myers debacle, where he nominated his babysitter to the Supreme Court...

Torture, illegal wiretapping, voter fraud, incompetence, indifference, ideological warfare, secrecy and contempt... and on and on... please stop me before I hurt myself...

We as a nation ask, expect, and deserve competence from our elected officials... What we got from the Bush administration was eight years of theft, lies, and apathy from which it will take at least two generations to recover... if ever... Republicans commonly complain that the Federal Government is incapable of running things... I find that I agree with them, but with the following modification... the Federal Government is incapable of running things when Republicans are in charge... (not that Democrats are that much better, to be honest...)

The Center for Public Integrity undertook a web project of herculean proportions in an attempt to study, document and determine the scope of failure during the Bush era. Thirteen reporters deconstructed hundreds government documents, investigations, budget reports.. they interviewed dozens of experts and government workers... they sent out 5,000 solicitation emails to federal employees... the results overwhelmed the reporters to such degree that they had to pare the list down to 125 from 250 suggested failures...

Below is a short list of forty ways in which the federal government failed to perform under the administration of George W. Bush from 2001-2008:

• 45 million Americans without health care
• 60 percent of EPA scientists report political interference with their work
• 1,273 whistleblower complaints filed from 2002-2008; 1,256 were dismissed
• 190,000 U.S.-supplied weapons missing in Iraq
• $212.3 million in overcharges by Halliburton for Iraq oil reconstruction work
• $455 billion deficit for fiscal year 2008; estimated to reach up to $1 trillion in 2009
• $9.91 billion for government secrecy in 2007 — a record
• 809 government laptops with sensitive information lost by FBI, Drug Enforcement Administration, and Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives
• 30 million pounds of beef recalled in 2007
• $300 billion over budget for Department of Defense weapons acquisitions
• Less than 3 percent of U.S. electricity needs met by alternative energy
• 2,145 troops killed and 21,000 injured in Iraq from March 2003 through November 1, 2008, by IEDs (improvised explosive devices) and other explosives — many while awaiting body armor. Additionally, tens of thousands of Iraqis have been killed in the conflict
• 34.8 percent of oil used in America imported during Nixon administration; 42.2 percent during first Gulf War; 59.9 percent in 2006
• $100 million for failed FBI computer network
• $100 billion in federal tax revenues lost annually to corporations using off-shore tax shelters
• 163 million airline passengers delayed 320 million hours; cost to U.S. economy: more than $41 billion in 2007
• $60 billion stolen in Medicare fraud each year
• 2.5 million toxic toys recalled in summer of 2007
• $12.5 billion for defective National Polar-Orbiting Environmental Satellite System
• $4 billion to upgrade National Security Agency computers that often crash, have trouble talking to each other, and lose key intelligence
• 60,000 flights made by 46 Southwest Airline jets in violation of FAA safety directives due to lax FAA enforcement
• 12.8 percent job turnover at Department of Homeland Security in 2006 — double that of any other cabinet-level agency
• 730,000 backlogged patent applications
• 148,000 troops not enough to secure Iraq, enabling insurgency to take root
• $1 billion, six-year “Reading First” program called ineffective by Department of Education Inspector General
• 20,000 U.S. deaths annually from lack of pollution controls on diesel vehicles and power plants
• 60,000 newborns a year at risk for neurological problems due to mercury emissions from coal-fired power plants
• Two-thirds fewer clean ups of EPA Superfund toxic waste sites during 2001-2006 than in previous six years
• 935 demonstrably false statements in lead-up to Iraq war by President Bush and seven members of his administration
• At least $500 million for FEMA trailers contaminated by formaldehyde occupied by thousands displaced after Hurricane Katrina
• 558 detainees at Guantanamo detention facility reduced to 255 after court-ordered case reviews
• 26 percent of corporations holding at least $250 million in assets audited in 2006; percent audited in 1990: more than 70 percent. IRS audit staff slashed by 30 percent
• $431.5 billion spent on Medicare in 2007, double amount in 2001
• 47 dead in mining accidents in 2006 blamed on lax oversight
• $9 billion in federal oil and gas royalties mismanaged by agency linked to drug-and-sex scandal
• 275 largest U.S. corporations pay, on average, about 17 percent in taxes in 2007, half the standard corporate tax rate
• $45 trillion in credit-default swaps, without federal oversight, in 2007
• 760,800 disability claims backlogged, awaiting hearings at Social Security Administration as of October 2008
• 806,000 Veterans Affairs disability claims in 2006, up 39 percent since 2000; backlog reached 400,000 claims by February 2007
• 2,640 days Osama bin Laden at large since September 11, 2001 (as of December 10, 2008)

Remember folks... this is the list that was edited DOWN...

Is everything on this list George's fault? Of course not... that would be a gross oversimplification. However, I don't think I am editorializing when I say that when all is said and done, George W. Bush will be considered the worst chief executive in this nation's history.

At least he's number one at something...

Barack Obama has a tough act to follow...

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Arrested Development

It has been said that timing is everything, so it is only fitting that Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich got himself arrested for corruption on... drumroll please... UN Anti-Corruption Day!!!

The FBI phoned Blagojevich at 6 a.m. Tuesday, telling him of a warrant for his arrest and informing him that there were two FBI agents at his door. Blagojevich's first comment was, "Is this a joke?" (Interesting side note... when Blagojevich was "interviewed" by Jason Jones of the Daily Show two years ago, he didn't comprehend that the interview was a joke... oh the irony...)

Blagojevich, who was charged with conspiracy to commit fraud and solicitation to commit bribery, let friendly union officials and fundraisers know that for the right price, Barack Obama's vacant Illinois Senate seat could be had. Blagojevich was also in the midst of an attempt to raise $2.5 million by the end of the year, before a state anti-corruption law he tried to veto (Obama got the state senate to override it) took effect. This led the Feds to wiretap his phones and the rest is history...

The House of Blagojevich was a “pay to play” operation and the governor had a price... $250,000 to $300,000 a year, and an influential job with a nonprofit foundation or union... and a plum board of directors gig for Mrs. Blagojevich. He even had fantasies of being Obama's Secretary of Health and Human services or an ambassador...

The desire to ingratiate himself into the Obama Administration may well have led to his eventual undoing... Rumor has it the Obama's Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel may have tipped off the FBI to Blagojevich's hair brained scheme... Note to self: Rahm Emanuel is not to be crossed... that G is a straight up gangsta IDF mofo...

Not only was this genius caught on FBI wiretaps conniving to sell in exchange for bribes, the dimwit was fully aware that he was being investigated for fraud and MUST HAVE KNOWN he was under surveillance... Just Monday he challenged reporters stating, "I don't care whether you tape me privately or publicly. I can tell you that whatever I say is always lawful."

Ummmmm... ok... perhaps his definition of lawful is just "different" than ours...

Among some of the "lawful" things he said were these whoppers:

"I've got this thing (the Illinois Senate seat) and it's fucking golden, and I'm just not giving it up for fucking nothing. I'm not gonna do it."

"They're (the Obama Administration) not going to offer me anything of value, I might as well take it, They're not going to give me anything except appreciation. Fuck them."

"Consultants are telling me that I have to suck it up for two years and do nothing and give this motherfucker (the President-elect) his senator. Fuck him. For nothing? Fuck him.”

Sounds like someone saw a few too many episodes of the Sopranos...

The level of Blago's chutzpah even got the typically staid U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald (yes, the prosecutor behind Plamegate) seeing red... "The breadth of corruption laid out in these charges is staggering. They allege that Blagojevich put a ‘for sale' sign on the naming of a United States senator. The Senate seat, as recently as days ago, seemed to be on the verge of being auctioned off. The conduct would make Lincoln roll over in his grave," said Fitzgerald.

Apparently the typical, run of the mill fall from grace didn't pass muster for Blagojevich... you know, getting caught with heroin, or with a prostitute, or with a teenage boy, etc... that must have been deemed as too passe... And based on this assumption, we must at least give Blago points for creativity... Nicely done Rod... I spose if you are gonna go down, you might as well go down in flames...

This cat might well be one of the most brazen idiots in American political history... take a moment to let that rattle around inside your noggin for a minute... think of the competition... that is A LOT of brazen idiots... which leads me to ask the obvious question, how the hell does someone like this get to be a governor?

During his term in Springfield (The state capital of Illinois, where he refused to live in the governor's mansion and commuted from Chicago several times a week via private plane at the cost of $6,000 per round trip...), he has battled friends and foe alike, all the way down to a 4% approval rating (no, that wasn't a typo) according to one poll... Some of his fellow lawmakers have described him as "disengaged" and "dictatorial"... a "madman" and "insane"... a 10-year-old child and yes, a "cuckoo"...

The arrogant SOB even considered appointing himself to the Senate seat, thinking that it might help him avoid impeachment and help rebuild his image for a possible presidential run in 2016...

Yes, you read that correctly... this sociopath had designs on the Oval Office...

Blagojevich also sweated the Chicago Tribune, threatening to withhold state assistance to parent company Tribune Co. in an attempt to force the newspaper into firing editorial writers who had been critical. Supposedly Tribune CEO (and resident evil troll and slumlord) Sam Zell got the message and was very "sensitive" to the issue.

Ah yes, Illinois... where dead people vote early and often, governors go to the big house, and the Cubs have crushed hopes and dreams for 100 years and counting...

As for President-elect Obama... how is he wrapped in all of this?

So far he's not... Prosecutors backed up the president-elect's claim stating that he had no contact with the governor or his office, was not aware of what was happening. However, one can trust that his claim of ignorance won't stop political enemies from pegging this as his first scandal...

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All Dogs Go To Heaven

The below video is of a heroic dog dragging another severely injured dog to the side of a busy Chilean highway... It left me speechless and with a lump in my throat...

Warning: Understand that it is graphic and very difficult to watch, especially for animal lovers...



For those of you interested in the English translation, the narrator essentially comments that "This is a very common problem, dogs are hit in the street all the time. This will continue until the stray dog population is brought under control."

No word on whether the little guy pulled through, odds are he didn't...

Now I know what some of you may be thinking, that my posting of this video is just a cheap stunt meant to draw an emotional response... fine, I'll plead guilty to that... but it is also a testament to the kindness and selflessness of our canine brethren... it proves (to me anyway) that altruism, a trait normally attributed to ambulating primates, can be found throughout the animal world...

You could argue that this dog shows more humanity than many of us... just last weekend crazed Christmas shoppers trampled a poor Wal-Mart greeter to death and then continued right on shopping... And last June in Hartford, Connecticut, a 78-year-old man was hit by a car and lay bleeding in the street while onlooking pedestrians and motorists did nothing to assist him.

Could I be guilty of anthropomorphising?

Sure... we tend to attach human emotion to things because that is our only way of relating a common experience... However, I don't think that makes what occurs in this video any less touching or heroic...

Dogs assist blind people in living normal lives... They sniff bombs and contraband and contribute to our safety... They help bring joy to the sick and dying in hospices... There are countless stories of them waking families and saving them from fires and other natural disasters... They rescue people in the wild... I could go on and on...

I own two wonderful dogs (or if you were to ask them, they own me) and seven delightfully loopy cats, each with their own distinct dispositions and quirks... they have enriched my life beyond explanation and I cannot imagine living without them...

Sadly I cannot rescue more... so in the spirit of the holidays, might I suggest making a donation to your local SPCA, or better yet, go down to your local shelter and find yourself a loyal friend for life... you won't be sorry...

And please spay or neuter your pets... so that millions more don't end up dead, astray, or in shelters...

"Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in." - Mark Twain

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Sideshow Sean

There is an enlightening site on the internet that goes by the clever moniker of "Dickipedia"... dedicated to some of the more prominent "dicks" among us... With his latest antics, Dallas Stars forward Sean Avery has certainly earned himself a welcome place there...

Tuesday morning, surrounded by assembled media and cameras, Avery found it reasonably necessary to make the following prepared statement, "I'm really happy to be back in Calgary, I love Canada, I just want to comment on how it's become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. I don't know what that's about, but enjoy the game tonight." He then walked out of the locker room.


Please understand that I abhor sexual exploitation such as this and include it only in the pursuit of proper journalistic ethics.







The coupling of athletes and actress/models is nothing new, as Avery was referring to Calgary Flames defenseman Dion Phaneuf, who is now dating Avery's ex-girlfriend "24" actress Elisha Cuthbert, as well as Jarret Stoll of the Los Angeles Kings, who is dating Rachel Hunter (another Avery conquest).

Immediately after delivering his "press briefing" Avery was suspended indefinitely by NHL commissioner Gary Bettman for "inappropriate public comments, not pertaining to the game."

Avery has earned himself quite the reputation throughout the league... In a 2007 poll of 283 NHL players, 66% said that Avery was the most hated guy in the game... Last spring during the Stanley Cup playoffs the NHL had to pass an emergency rule to prevent Avery from waving his hands and stick in front of New Jersey goaltender Martin Brodeur in an attempt to distract him and block his view. Though not illegal at the time, it most certainly wasn't very sportsmanlike.




Sean Avery getting intimate with Martin Brodeur...









He has been penalized and fined for illegally diving in vain attempts at drawing penalties, he's been accused of making racist remarks pertaining to blacks and French Canadian players, and he once challenged Anaheim Ducks announcer Brian Hayward to a fight...

While on the ice, Avery has directed some pretty disgusting insults towards his opponents, their girlfriends, daughters or mothers... but that sort of trash talk usually results in dismissive laughter or at worst, the parties involved drop the gloves and settle things like men... But for the life of me, I can not recall an occasion where a professional athlete gave a prepared statement to the press implying that his ex-girlfriends were slutty...

Perhaps Avery was trying to get under Phaneuf's skin, get him off his game...
But holding a media briefing in order to refer to your ex-girlfriend as "sloppy seconds"... well that is just plain crass...

And does he honestly think this will help him get future dates? As a woman, would you be concerned that if you dated Avery, someday you'd be referred to as "sloppy seconds?"

Pleasant... what a prince...

Apparently Avery never got past the idiot high school jock stage of emotional development... Avery revels in the fact that he is hated throughout the league... When he was with the Kings, he was particularly skilled at talking mucho shit in the locker room, and scuffling with his teammates during morning skates, all while driving his coaches batshit crazy by refusing to practice certain drills... While popular with the fans, he drove his teammates nuts... On more than one occasion I'd hear a public statement of support from one of the Kings' veterans, only to be told off the record that they were sick of his "Sideshow Bob" antics...

How do Avery's Dallas teammates feel about his latest foot in mouth incident? Team leader Mike Modano stated that Avery's remarks were "unacceptable" and added that it had been "a bit of work" to deal with Avery over the season. Goalie Marty Turco echoed Modano's sentiments by saying "the show continues"...

I've personally interviewed Avery on several occasions and always found him to be entertaining and quotable... more so than most NHL players, who tend to be either painfully polite (Canadian upbringing), linguistically challenged (Fins, Swedes, Czechs, and Slovaks) or just plain grumpy (the Russians)... Avery likes to think of himself as the sport's mouthpiece, and since there isn't another prominent player in the spotlight who is nearly as quotable, non-observers and casual fans get the impression that the entire NHL is populated by rude and violent goons.

This is hardly the reality however, as ice hockey is a sport where individualistic chest pounding is abhorred and vehemently discouraged... the likes of Terrell Owens or Barry Bonds would never be tolerated in the NHL... this isn't to say that hockey players are parish priests... but the game has always had a certain gentlemen's ethic that is missing from other major team sports...

I have to admit I enjoy watching Avery play... he is a feisty, diminutive player, who holds his own against players much larger and stronger... an interesting combination of skill and grit, and if used in the right situation, he could be a key member of a successful team... but the fact that he is a knucklehead and alienates everyone everywhere he plays can't be denied. He needs to grow up and understand that the key to his team's success is chemistry, not the cult of personality known as Sean Avery...

In closing, I must state that there is a little bit of irony in suspending Avery indefinitely for conduct detrimental to the league when on any given night there are gruesome incidents on the ice in which an opponent could be permanently maimed... Where is the shared outrage at watching someone bleed all over the ice, victimized by some cheap shot?

Or for another example, look to the NFL... Giants receiver Plaxico Burress shoots himself, a half-dozen player get busted for illegal steroids in one fell swoop and the NHL is upset about Avery's lashing out at an ex-girlfriend? Perhaps cooler heads should prevail... And perhaps Sean Avery finally needs to grow up and act like a man and stop being a dick.


My apologies to anyone who could care less about hockey and has yet read this all the way to the bottom...

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Ms. Shrill And Dr. Kill

Sometimes the jokes just write themselves...

According to various news sources, Ann Coulter has broken her jaw and it has been wired shut. The specific cause of her grievous injury has yet to be reported, and therefore I suspect something sinister is going on... To be honest, I think Satan wants his soul back and this is Annie's way of making sure he can't get to it.

But then again, I have also always suspected that Annie was actually of some reptilian order, perhaps of the Atractaspididae family... perhaps her retractable jaw became unhinged while she was facilitating the manipulation and ingestion of some large rodent.

The mind reels...

Her injury couldn't have come at a better time, unless of course you are her publisher or a loony right-wing zealot... You see, Coulter has a new book coming out, "Guilty: Liberal "Victims" And Their Assault On America." The book will supposedly illuminate us to the "liberal media's" torrid love affair with Obama.

Hmmmm... ok...

Is this the same liberal media that trotted out Reverend Wright ad nauseum, the same liberal media that portrayed Bill Ayers as Obama's secret sibling, the same liberal media that at various times speculated as to whether Barack Obama was a closeted Muslim, a "Manchurian Candidate", or worse, or an actual terrorist?

Is this the same liberal media that essentially gave John McCain a pass on his associations with the Keating Five? Is this the same liberal media that completely ignored McCain's betrayal of POWs still in Vietnam? Is this the same liberal media that found it perfectly OK that Sarah Palin's campaign was blessed by a snake oil priest who claimed the ability to purge witches? Is this the same liberal media who gave Sarah Palin a pass on her brutally obvious shortcomings until it suddenly became fashionable to ridicule her?

Apparently facts have a liberal bias as well.

You wanna know how Annie makes the New York Times bestseller list?

Right wing conservative Christian organizations purchase her books en masse and send them to contributors as "gifts." These organizations purchase her books at a greatly reduced cost, and because so many units are shipped, Annie comes across as a successful pundit and author... which then leads to continuous bookings on Fox News and at Klan rallies... which leads to more books...

It is a brilliant scam... I should look into it...

Now for something completely different... but not really...

Last week, Al-Qaeda's numero dos, Dr. Ayman al-Zawahiri greeted the election of Barack Obama by calling him a "House Negro", among other things...

You see, the fine folks of the Al-Qaeda public relations department can't have the rest of the world enraptured by the "Hope and Change" rhetoric made so undeniably popular by Obama's campaign. If the angry, hopeless, and dispossessed of the Islamic world see a possibility for an end to bloodshed, how will the likes of al-Zawahiri continue to to recruit soldiers for jihad? The last thing Dr. Ayman needs is for there to be any hope OR change... since his entire dogma is about the opposite of that... al-Zawahiri wants to bring the world back to the seventh century... except for the modern conveniences of laptops, cell phones and satellite television of course... which terrorists have great love for...

In his rant against Obama, al-Zawahiri has shown himself to have a dubious knowledge of history. In comparing Obama to Malcolm X, al-Zawahiri stated, "That's why it wasn't strange that Malik al-Shabazz (Malcolm X's Muslim name) was killed, while you have climbed the rungs of the presidency to take over the leadership of the greatest criminal force in the history of mankind and the leadership of the most violent crusade ever against the Muslims."

Apparently al-Zawahiri is painfully unaware that Malcom X was indeed murdered by members of the Nation of Islam...

oops...

Of course, Al-Qaeda supporters are predictably backing their man and are dismissive of any denigration of al-Zawahiri's screeching blather. But it doesn't stop there... in an irony of all ironies, Al-Qaeda supporters are now fiercely criticizing the media for its "unfair" pro-Obama bias and for deliberately "confusing" the meaning of al-Zawahiri's message.

Hold it... Ann Coulter AND Al-Qaeda BOTH think the "liberal media" is in the tank for Barack Obama...?

Bingo... Using the the same "guilt by association" logic Coulter often displays in her highly intellectualized writings, one could accurately assume that Ann Coulter is indeed a member of Al-Qaeda... a jihadi in a little black cocktail dress...

Here's an idea that would benefit us all...

Perhaps we can put Coulter and Al-Zawahiri on some island together, so they can lock themselves into an infinite 69 position and feast on each other's rotting entrails for perpetuity and leave the rest of us in peace...

This idea of mine is not without merit... British documentarian Adam Curtis put together an incredible three hour film called The Power of Nightmares based upon the fact that Christian right wing fundamentalism and Islamic terror are two sides of the very same coin...

And there you have it... Annie has finally met her love match... Dr. Ayman al-Zawahiri...

May their marriage be blissful... I wonder if they've registered anywhere yet?

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