His Own Private Idaho

During a pre-recorded interview with Japanese television Sunday, our esteemed buffoon in chief George W. Bush stated that he believed the Iraq war to be a success and was "very pleased" with what is happening there.

This isn't the first time he's stepped outside the realm of reality to reveal the little dream world in which his addled mind resides. Back in March he told the Times of London that the resurgence of violence in Iraq was a "very positive moment."

Ah yes... the power of positive thinking... a theory developed by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale in the fifties, a Protestant preacher with no formal mental health training... Far eastern meditation made palpable for the right wing happy clapper Jesus sects...

A theory where through constant repetition of positive thought you can circumvent the conscious mind and alter your viewpoints through the power of suggestion, until you no longer have the ability to think critically. Peale wrote, “Let them (positive thoughts) sink into your unconscious and they can help you overcome any difficulty. Say them over and over again. Say them until your mind accepts them, until you believe them – faith power works wonders.” (And it makes that annoying kid at Sunday School much easier to deal with... you know, the one with all "questions?")

Blind faith.

C'mon man, how awesome is that...?

Imagine going through life with a dumb smile permanently plastered on your mug... Working through life's many challenges just by altering your perception of reality.

This could really work for the poor... they could just tell themselves over and over that they have jobs, food, shelter, and health care... and voila, all those perceived socio-economic ills fall magically by the wayside...

W. has worked this scam to perfection. Down is up, wrong is right, night is day... After all, if you know you are right then no one can tell you that you are wrong.

Bush's utterly profound statement about the "success in Iraq" gave me reason to pause and “imagine” some great quotes throughout history, had the "power of positive thinking" been in effect...

March 15, 44 B.C., Julius Caeser: "Steak knives? You guys brought food?"

36 A.D., Judas Iscariot to Jesus of Nazareth: "Dude, no worries... I got your back."

1502, overheard somewhere along the West African coast: "Hey look... white people on ships... Let’s go see what they want." (stolen from David Chappelle)

June 19, 1815, Napoleon Bonaparte at Waterloo: "Je célèbre cette grande victoire!"

June 25, 1876, General George Armstrong Custer near the Little Bighorn River: "I imagine Crazy Horse and I will settle this like civilized gentlemen."

May 7, 1937, Captain of the Hindenburg, Ernst Lehmann: "Oh look, a fire… let’s make smores."

Fall 1942, Generalfeldmarschall Friedrich Wilhelm Ernst Paulus on the banks of the Volga: "What a wonderful place to camp for the winter."

November 18, 1978, overheard in Jonestown, Guyana: "mmmmm... grape... my favorite!"

February 23, 2004, Chairman of the Federal Reserve, Alan Greenspan: "If we drop interest rates, give everyone a loan regardless of their ability to pay it back, and then chop up those loans into complicated debt instruments and sell them to unsuspecting financial institutions across the world without any oversight or regulation, the economy will be great forever."

December 26, 2004, overheard off the coast of Sumatra, Indonesia: "Come on in, the water is just fine."

(Ok... that last one was just plain mean...)

So there it is kids... the key to eternal happiness is within your grasp... just alter your perceptions and even a shit sandwich like Iraq can taste like filet mignon... It works for the President of the United States, so why not let it work for you?

Bon appetit.

GO ON... LEAVE YOUR "THOUGHTS" IN THE COMMENTS SECTION...