Saturday, March 7, 2009

The Joys Of Inflation

My buddy Sid turned me on to this fun little fact...













Look at this pleasant little house in Zimbabwe...

Ent hall, lounge, dining room, 4 bed, 2 bath & guest loo. Kitchen is ordinary. DSQ, DLUG & storeroom. Seasonal garden with Chiptile pool. Property is walled on 3 sides with fence on one side and manual gates.

It lists at $220,000 (USD)...

But what if you were to attempt to purchase this humble abode in the native currency?

With the conversion rate of $500,000,000,000 ZBD to $1 USD, the house would cost a mere $11,000,000,000,000,000... or... $11 quadrillion Zimbabwean dollars...

WTF?

Well kids, its called inflation and its what happens when you monetize debt.

By the way, in case you were wondering... we Americans are about to monetize our debt.

Big time.

Will the US dollar take the extreme southbound route of Zimbabwean dollar?

Doubtful...

But isn't it fun to ponder on how much of our collective buying power will vanish into thin air...




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Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Re-Booting You Too



Disclaimer: I was a rabid U2 fan until around 1995... since then I've just been somewhat mildly obsessed.

The new U2 album "No Line On The Horizon" seems to have cause quite a kerfuffle among the band's most fervent followers...

Is it as terrible as many have lamented? Or is it a veteran band's brave attempt at experimentation and relevance?

In my opinion, it is both... While I find the album to be sonically pleasing and sometimes daring, it is woefully short on memorable songs... you know, the type of U2 songs that used to reach down into your chest and force an emotional response...

That said, one cannot hope that the work of a 30-year-old band will have the same impact upon you as it did when you were young and first enthralled with them... First of all… not only was the band different at that initial stage...

but...

so

were

YOU.

It is an impossible and unrealistic expectation... Things change, we grow older... often most ungracefully... Perhaps we should realize that things are not, nor will they ever be like they once were... nor will our emotional attachments, our desires, our dysfunctions, our addictions...

The quest to reclaim our youthful exuberance is not only impossible, but embarrassingly silly...

U2 has gotten older... and so have we...

go figure...

I just spent some time in the studio with the respected leader of a 30-year-old band who was dealing with these same issues... Does he make the album he wants to? Or does he rewrite old hits desperately seeking another? What position does commerce have in the equation? Do you tread the familiar and plod safely along, or do you risk the possibility of alienating the old fans in search of new territory? This is a quandary for just about every artist lucky enough to have a career that lasts a decade or so...

The Stones, Who, Doors, Led Zeppelin and Neil Young have released their share of turkeys... given the overall quality of their work, I think we can forgive those infrequent artistic transgressions...

To their credit, U2 have never played it safe... Some of the music they released in the mid-90’s had me beyond puzzled... I did not care for much of it... however, I respected them for making the attempt.

This new album is merely an honest photograph of the band in its present state... love them or hate them, this is a band that still tries new things, and for that alone they should be commended... Had they wanted to, they could have re-written “The Joshua Tree” 10 times over and done quite well indeed...

Last year I had the pleasure of seeing “U23D”… the phenomenal live three dimensional Mexico City/Buenos Aires concert film presented by National Geographic...

U23D

I was astounded at how well their newer material fit firmly within the soul of the old… there was no letup in conviction or passion, from the audience or the band…

There is a reason that this is still the biggest band in the world, and its not just clever marketing... It is the fact that they inspire... they emote... as Lou Reed once said, “A U2 show is like going to church”.

I have found that my favorite U2 albums were always the ones that were hard to embrace at first... Perhaps if you give it a chance to grow on you and you will find that there is some magic there... maybe not the magic you wanted or were expecting, but some magic nonetheless...





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Surely A Sign Of The Apocalypse....



Quite frankly, I don't know whether to laugh or be creeped out...




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Thursday, February 26, 2009

In Layman's Terms

In case you've always wondered, but never really took the time to figure out why you are about to be jobless, homeless and penniless, here is why...

Enjoy.


The Crisis of Credit Visualized from Jonathan Jarvis on Vimeo.

My only issue with this presentation is how it doesn't do enough to explain the devious acts of the Federal Reserve Bank, which printed the blizzard of paper money that directly led to the crisis...

Thanks to Captain Patrick Pitt for turning me on to this...




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Monday, February 23, 2009

Tom Saw This Coming



There is a certain cruel irony in Thomas Jefferson's image being placed upon the $2 bill... He must have been rolling in his grave when that happened...

Here's why...


"Everything predicted by the enemies of banks, in the beginning, is now coming to pass. We are to be ruined now by the deluge of bank paper. It is cruel that such revolutions in private fortunes should be at the mercy of avaricious adventurers, who, instead of employing their capital, if any they have, in manufactures, commerce, and other useful pursuits, make it an instrument to burden all the interchanges of property with their swindling profits, profits which are the price of no useful industry of theirs." - Thomas Jefferson to Thomas Cooper, 1814.

"I sincerely believe... that banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies, and that the principle of spending money to be paid by posterity under the name of funding is but swindling futurity on a large scale." - Thomas Jefferson to John Taylor, 1816.



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Friday, February 20, 2009

Look Up, The Sky Is Falling



Take a gander at the above chart... During the 1982-2007 bull market, the Dow went from 775 to nearly 15,000... Today the Dow closed at 7,365... below the halfway mark of the ENTIRE 25 YEAR RUN...

"Thud"

Think anyone else noticed that HALF the gains accrued in the previous 25 years have been wiped out in a mere nine months?

Think anyone in the mainstream media would mention this fact?

Think anyone out there in the mainstream media is being straight with you regarding how bad things really are?

Think again.

Thanks to Richard Russell




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Friday, February 6, 2009

The Ugly American Visits The UN


To be fair, he was just doing his job... just going through a script that was no doubt fully vetted and written for him...

To be unfair, he was perpetuating a myth... a pack of lies... presenting the UN as an unyielding champion of human rights... as this great organization that only exists to do good in the world...

The "he" I am speaking of was the poor Italian chap who had the utter misfortune of being my tour guide around the UN in Vienna this morning... he was handsome, fluent in several languages, and engaging... I looked forward to his presentation...

My assault began quickly... he took us into a large circular room that contained all of the flags of the 192 member states of the UN... he pointed out the various flags of the other members in my group and they smiled and took pictures... I, of course, had to be the sand in the Vaseline... I asked where the Kurdish flag was... and the Palestinian one... and the Tamil one... and the Tibetan one...

I watched as the color left his face (oh no, a troublemaker...) and he correctly informed me that these were not actual "countries" and therefore not represented... So I asked him about the UN charter of human rights, in which the preamble states: "The recognition of the inherent dignity and of the equal and inalienable rights of all members of the human family is the foundation of freedom, justice and peace in the world”

His cheeks were now getting rosy...

I asked, are people not represented by an official country undeserving of basic human rights? Who speaks for them? Do Turkey, Iraq and Iran represent the interests of the Kurds? Do the Israelis look out for the Palestinians? China for Tibet? You see, this is where the UN fails... I explained my fierce opinion that ethnic groups with grievances towards their captors deserve a seat at the table... His response was a weak attempt at placating me with some party line nonsense that I don't even care to remember... Instead of really being interested in the basic human rights of the unrepresented, the UN is about as inclusive as an all-white golf cub in Georgia.

Next we waddled over to the UN peacekeepers display... where we were informed about the great success of their mission... having been a UN peacekeeper, this subject was close to my heart...

I asked him about the Srebrenica massacre, where Dutch UN peacekeepers stood idly by while a bunch of blood thirsty Serbs led by war criminal Ratko Mladić slaughtered 8,300 men and boys... I asked if he had read "Shake Hands with the Devil", in which General Romeo Dallaire recounted how the UN left him (due to pressure from the Clinton White House, who were scared of a repeat of Somalia, and France, who supported the Hutus cause, fearing a loss of French influence in Rwanda) and his peacekeepers swinging in the wind as Hutu militia slaughtered nearly 800,000 Tutsis... and what of the continuing failure to prevent genocide or provide assistance in Darfur? And what of the situation in Gaza?

At this point the others in my group were getting a little scared as I may have been foaming at the mouth... but I felt a point had to made... you can't just run around and say the UN is a powerful force for good when it fails miserably at the ONE THING its supposed to do more than anything else... which is protect the lives of the innocent... not to say there haven't been successes... at least they aren't butchering each other in the Balkans... for now...

We took a jaunt over to the IAEA (International Atomic Energy Agency) where he told of the UN's aims to stop the spread of nuclear weapons via the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty. There are currently 189 countries party to the treaty, five of which have nuclear weapons: United States, United Kingdom, France, Russia, and China (the permanent members of the UN Security Council)... all well and good... but when four major nuclear powers, India, Israel, Pakistan and North Korea refuse to sign the treaty then what good is it?

Four out of nine give the UN the finger? Those aren't real good odds when you are talking about the atomic bomb.

On a side note, at least India, Pakistan and North Korea openly admit to having the bomb... while Israel chooses the time honored strategy of "don't ask, don't tell". Even Iran played along and signed the damn thing, not that they'll actually have to abide by it... because the UN is all smoke and no fire...

We took a look at Dr. Mohamed ElBaradei's Nobel Peace medal... you know... the one he was awarded for stopping the US from pre-emptively invading Iraq because they had "nucular" weapons... oops... wrong again...

It went on and on... over to the IMF (International Monetary Fund) where we were told how they manage the global economy and lend money to the poor... at this point my ears were bleeding profusely...

Really? Manage the global economy? Ask Argentina how that worked out in 2001... Or ask the Icelanders how that is working out for them right about now... Ask the rest of us the same question a year from now... If by "managing" you mean "stealing, grifting and manipulating" well then, you are correct sir...

And the lending of money to poorer countries? Fucking hilarious... if by "lending" you mean "forcing" third world governments to take on loans they can never repay so that richer nations may rape their natural resources for pennies on the dollar... Its all in how you define things I guess...

As far as I am concerned the IMF is nothing more than the mafia in a bunny suit...

On to the outer-space display... making it safe for banking and marketing interests to follow our every move and buying habits via satellite... due to the RFID chips implanted in our passports, credit cards and driver's licenses... Gee... I loved being tracked like inventory... or livestock...

Over to the "War on Drugs" display... where he proudly told us of the UN's effort to rid Afghanistan of heroin production... I then proudly told him that the US Army made devil deals with poppy growing Afghan warlords... "You make nice, we leave you alone... see no, hear no..."

At this point I was seething... The poor Italian kid was rather flummoxed and worse yet, didn't seem to know what the hell I was roaring about... Surely this couldn't be true... he worked for the UN after all... he had the proper ID, the nice black suit; he was educated and spoke several languages...

And then it occurred to me... he was just another wheel in the machine... much in the same way I was when I was in the military... before I became an annoying, enlightened, wannabe "illuminati"... I shook his hand and gave him a tip... he was a good kid and did his best...

Let me finish by saying that I actually do believe the UN could be a force for good if it actually followed its charter and behaved in a ethical and moral fashion... I'd be in favor of a much stronger and more inclusive UN, not rigged towards Western banking interests... but then again, I'm naive...

Maybe I'll tour OPEC tomorrow... kick over a shithouse or two over there...





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Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Planes, Trains, Busses and 36 Hours Without Sleep


The following is an accounting of my 13 hour journey from Istanbul, Turkey to Graz, Austria on Tuesday, as best I could remember it...

1:00 a.m. Taksim Square, Istanbul: After an amazing last minute ride around town and some profoundly delicious Turkish ravioli, my new found pal Can (who manages the biggest rock band in Turkey, Mor Ve Otesi) kindly drops me off at the Havas bus station, where I catch a ride to Sabiha Gokcen airport well on the outskirts of town…

2:00 a.m. Sabiha Gokcen Airport: When I’m not sitting, waiting, tapping my toes and sucking down Turkish coffee in an attempt to stay awake, I am going through security (TWICE) as well as customs and passport control. I am met with disapproving scowls wherever I go… these people love their jobs… There's a bunch of great big heaving Danes in the Duty Free shop… soldiers… probably just finishing up a NATO exercise… they’ve been celebrating their departure from Turkey… they are wrestling on the floor while Turkish police look on disapprovingly... must steer clear of this potential international incident…

3:00 a.m. Checking in at Sabiha Gokcen Airport: A cute girl in line in front of me obviously has issues with reading comprehension… she seems to have a problem with the concept of carry-on baggage versus checked baggage… she has purchased some rather large cymbals in Istanbul and wishes to carry them home… along with about 3 other carry-on bags... a mono-browed grumpus behind the airline check-in counter drags his hairy knuckles over the keyboard and utters something unintelligible and informs the pretty girl that her cymbals will cost her another 100 Euros… I watch her face grow ashen with despair… since my checked baggage is underweight I offer to let her store some of her cymbals in my bag… she seems really pleased at my offer and the mono-browed grumpus drags his hairy knuckles across the keyboard once more and knocks her fee down to a more manageable 30 Euros… Cute girl doesn’t say one more word to me and avoids me like the plague until the moment she fetches her cymbals after the flight… perhaps I am so hideously grotesque that young pretty girls will no longer speak to me… perhaps they see me as some creepy skeeze, an older guy on the make… I pray that I don’t give off that vibe, but who knows… it looks as if my ship has left the “make idle conversation with pretty girls you help with their cymbals” dock for good… one more chink in the armor of my fading masculinity...

4:40 a.m. Wheels up to Bratislava: Yes… AT 4:40 A.M NO LESS!!! There are unusually cruel masochists living among us… some of them grow up to be dental surgeons, others decide on a career of scheduling flights for SkyEurope…

5:30 a.m. Somewhere several thousand feet over the snowy Slovakian countryside: As I hang on for dear life, I ask myself, is God himself wrapping his hands around the fuselage in an attempt to rattle us violently out of the plane onto the fields below? I feel as though I am inside a salt shaker held by someone afflicted with a severe case of sodium deficiency... Now I’m no avionics expert, but I’m pretty sure a flight on a Boeing 737 isn’t supposed feel like you’re a bouncing down a gravel road on a toboggan… on its side…

6:00 a.m. Landing in Bratislava: Considering the flight was one long mosh pit, the pilot brought her down pretty easy… you know its been a rough trip when you see the flight attendants marking the Holy Trinity upon arrival…

6:25 a.m. Bratislava airport: I (and others) watch as our bus to Vienna pulls away EMPTY… I guess it never occurred to the driver that… oh… the flight would be late and he should wait a little while longer? Nope… no time for adaptive reasoning… after all, he has an empty bus to get back to Vienna... on time... the next bus? Not until 8:25… LOVELY… even lovelier is being forced to stand in the sleet and freezing rain for 90 minutes because the fat Slovak cop with the football head decided he wanted to get some coffee and therefore kicked us all out of the arrivals section… I love the bovine expressions on the faces of the Slovak employees manning the airport… they all look at you as if they have a deep desire to cut off your head and make soup from it… and English speakers? Forget it… German speakers? Nope… never mind that this is an international airport just a few miles from Vienna… Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if some of them couldn’t speak Slovakian either…

8:25 a.m. Bratislava airport: Cold and wet… I finally get on the bus… just start to settle in for a brief snooze when a large babushka plops down next to me with a mountain of bags that look as if they are made out of carpeting… I’m not entirely convinced that there isn’t some sort of livestock living in these carpeted bags… I find that my eyes are starting to burn, for she smells of feet… and stale French cheese… and feet… and faintly of manure… and feet… I try to retain my spirit of cultural relativity… I fail…

9:45 a.m. Vienna Westbahnoff: I slog through the subway, up and down stairs with all my luggage, then outside in the freezing rain for several hundred meters… only to realize I am so punch drunk that I've forgotten which train station I am supposed to be at… of course I chose the wrong one… I wonder if it is ok for a grown man to break down crying in public… I spot a junkie fixing himself in a doorway and realize at least I’m not a junkie fixing himself in a doorway…

10:30 a.m. Vienna Sudbahnhof: I arrive at the correct train station (and later realize I have no idea how I got there)... I eat a Leberkassezemmel (basically a hot Austrian bologna sandwich) it is a glimmer of gold in my sea of blackness… mmm… and why does orange Fanta taste so good here?

10:56 a.m. Train leaves the station… in a few minutes we are in the snowy and picturesque Austrian countryside… I proceed to entertain/terrify the other passengers by alternately grumbling like a mad man, bouncing my head off the window, snoring loudly and then acting completely freaked out upon awakening, as well as producing copious pools of drool… I have become Homer Simpson… it doesn’t take long for the other passengers to gently sneak out of my immediate vicinity… I pray that I’ve committed no prosecutable sleep crimes…

1:45 p.m. Graz Hauptbahnhof: I stagger out of the train disheveled... My uncle Pietro greets me with a wary glance… I am a sight for sore eyes… I’m exhausted, wet and dirty… I smell of babushka lady, garlic, raki, cigarettes and Russian whores… (ok… maybe not the latter, but allow me some creative license…) my uncle takes one look at me and 15 minutes later there is a large bowl of goulash before me alongside a cold beer…

And all is right in the world…




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Sunday, February 1, 2009

Pittsburgh 31, Arizona 27


Seeing as I have a tradition of getting Super Bowl picks pretty much on the money (15 out of the last 17), I'll throw my two cents in from my Istanbul hotel room overlooking the mighty Bosphorus...

I see Pittsburgh capitalizing with a defensive touchdown to make it 21-7 at the half, and then jumping to a 28-7 lead with Arizona storming back to make it close at the end.

The key to the Steelers victory will be their ability to shut down Arizona's running game which will force Arizona to pass on most plays... Arizona's Kurt Warner is not mobile enough to avoid Pittsburgh's fierce pass rush...

As per usual, the team with the better defense wins... and that would be the Steelers..

Now if only I can find a place to watch the game at 1:30 a.m. Istanbul time...

Bummer...




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Wednesday, January 21, 2009

quod fabula revolvo...



Walking along these ancient streets I am enthralled and mystified… math, science, justice and law were discussed here at length… politics were argued… armies were raised… conspiracy, deceit, decadence and dogma were unwound and brought forth into reality… of these facts I am aware…

But what I was painfully unaware of is that nearly all the remnants of what we consider to be hallowed ancient Rome was either ransacked for building materials or used as dumping ground for scrap… I never would have guessed that the Home Depot and the Coliseum would have had so much in common… It wasn’t until the 18th century that the Romans actually sought to preserve some of their heritage… they kept accidentally excavating giant carved heads and columns until someone got religion and said “Hey, shouldn’t we preserve this instead of carving another marble bathtub?”

I stood inside the Pantheon today… a building so perfect in architectural design that it has stood for nearly 2000 years… the circular 142 foot dome was made up of lime paste mixed with sandy volcanic ash, pumice, and some crushed rock… in other words… CONCRETE. By comparision, the foundation of my garage was poured 2 years ago and is already cracking like a stale sugar cookie… Makes we wonder what we’ll leave behind…

WalMarts and pick-a-part auto graveyards…

We don’t give favor to even our most revered examples of Americana… even something as culturally significant as Yankee Stadium will meet the wrecking ball later this year… we don’t care… out with the old, in with the new… (or even worse… in with the “faux old”… at least in Europe they employ the practice of restoring the old facades while designing spectacularly modern structures to sit alongside them… with mixed results…)


Rome, for all its lore and splendor, was just another throwaway, consumer based economy based on slave labor… their armies spread thin, far and wide... their banks lent too much and then debased the money supply in order to make up for their losses, and when the gold became scarce, the entertainment was ramped up in order to dull the masses to the fact that their bread was about to become scarce and their lives even scarcer…

quod fabula revolvo...




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8 Years, 8 Minutes

This just crossed my path and I thought it was something everyone should see... My only criticism lies in the belief that this overview is far too broad and leaves far too much by the wayside, but then again, Keith only had eight minutes to burn...

Trust me on this... there are a million other bomblets set to explode in the wake of this idiot's departure... the lives of children not yet born will be profoundly affected by what has transpired these past eight years...

I hope "Hope" has plenty of carbohydrates...




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Tuesday, January 20, 2009

S.P.Q.R.


So I find myself in the eternal city… Roma…

So much has changed since this city-state ruled the world… and yet… so much hasn’t…

Despite all of our “enlightenment”, all of our technological advances… the human condition remains painfully static…

Armies fighting costly wars of imperialism… a quarrelling senate, economic strife, rampant elitism, currency manipulation… along with pointless decadence… bread and circus…

This is where it all began… our modern civilization (if you can call it that)… of course the Greeks and Egyptians might have issues with that statement (and cultures before them) … but so much of our collective modern culture can be tied directly to what transpired under the Roman Empire… and to my amazement, we haven’t seemed to learn from their mistakes…

Are we merely hamsters on the wheel of perpetual failure..?

Hegel’s paradox tells us that “man has a history of failing to learn from history”

Let that rattle around in your noggin’ for a bit…

This place has me perplexed… I’ve been here before… a few times in fact… I want to love Rome, but I don’t get the impression that she wants to love me back… so here we are, at an impasse…

I am looking for her soul but so far I haven’t found it… maybe it’s because of where I am…

I am staying at a spectacular hotel at the top of the Spanish Steps… so spectacular that if I were to actually use the mini-bar I’d have to sell my car to pay the bill… The kind of place where internet cost 23E ($30) a day… where the only way to get a 7E ($10) cup of tea is to order it via room service, who slap another 10E onto the bill for their pleasure… (yes… the trip upstairs to your room costs more than the cup of tea itself…)

Oh how I wish I was a Saudi prince…

And what is it with European bathtubs… are they made for Lilliputians? And why must every shower entail a raging battle between me and the shower curtain… (the shower curtain is winning so far but I swear I’ll leave that clammy bastard bleeding and shivering on the cold marble floor before I check out…)

And the food… what the hell happened the food? So far it’s been watery pasta sauce and particle board pizza… and the cold minestrone at the Vatican had me doing the porcelain shuffle for a good 24 hours… (Damn Catholics… getting me back for a lifetime of blasphemy…)

Have Italians lost pride in their cuisine? (ok… I did have some pretty good risotto…) I lived in Italy for three years in the eighties and if memory serves me, the grub was nothing less than spectacular... I’m not one for fancy restaurants… I enjoy doing the Anthony Bourdain thing… eating where the locals eat… maybe it’s because I’m in a touristy area… maybe it’s because it’s the off season… maybe they think that I won’t know any better because I’m a dumb American… who knows… but I’ve had a couple meals here that make the Olive Garden seem like haute cuisine in comparison… as a corpulent foodie I must state that I am profoundly disappointed…

Back to the Vatican… extremely beautiful and impressive place… and yet… if you really pay attention… something horrifically sinister lies beneath… the extortion of souls… As I walked along the halls of the museum I could not help but think of all Catholic history not represented there… persecution, enslavement, unchecked power… guilt, fear, and punishment… ruinous crusades, perverse inquisitions, the slaughter and forced conversion of native peoples, the hoarding of treasure, collaborations with fascists, and last but not least rampant pedophilia…

No mention of any of these things from a church that prides itself on “la boca de verita” (the mouth of truth)

Ah well… I’ll be excommunicating myself to Vienna on Friday…

More to come…

Ciao.





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Wednesday, January 7, 2009

You're So Vain, You Probably Think This Blog Is About You...


I am making a vain attempt to rise from the ashes of my annual holiday depression... been quiet lately... perhaps even lazy... but at least this time my wallowing has led to some introspection (oh brother, here he goes again...) as to why I've not fulfilled the promise I made to myself that I'd write at least three times a week... but then again, why write when you've got nothing terribly original or interesting to say?

It's not that I don't have opinions about things... believe me, I have opinions tenfold... (ask anyone unfortunate enough to have to deal with me personally...) but my opinion doesn't move mountains much less ant hills... why should you credit any importance to anything I have to say, and furthermore, why should I continue to write if it doesn't?

Quite often (as is common within the blogosphere) my opinions are nothing more than me parroting something I've read/heard somewhere else... oh sure, I may tart it up a bit, put my spin on it, but let's be honest... why say something when someone else out there has already said it so much better? Someone far more learned, with gravitas and credibility...(Perhaps I should just provide a page linking to better writers...)

The beauty of the web is also its inherent failing... it has lowered great journalism, great writing, great art, and great music to a level where it is considered to be on par with the works of pretending amateurs... hacks... and fools...

"Anyone can do it" is the mantra...

I vehemently disagree... not everyone can be H. L. Mencken, Seymour Hersh or Hunter S. Thompson... they were/are special... extraordinarily talented...

This is a problem with our culture... too often we place the mantle of brilliance upon the shoulders of the merely average...

The average blogger? We're not special... nor is the greatest blogger on earth.

I champion the role of blogging as important journalistic tool... had the mainstream media actually done their job... had they been objective and truthful... had they not become a downsized, irrelevant, corporately controlled whorehouse beholden to shareholders there would be little need or desire for the news blogosphere... (but when was the last time I broke a story? Better yet, when was the last time I wanted to..?) And now, in a last ditch effort at relevance, realizing that they are neck deep in a sinkhole of shit reeking debt, newspapers are "blogging"... so much for that last shred of credibility...

I get the point of the "friends and family" blog as well... here are the baby pictures, we went to the Poconos, we bought a new car... etc... Those are not meant for public consumption... (Besides, I lead a stunningly flaccid life and no one cares about me, so why bother doing one of those..?)

My beef is with the blogger who has nothing particularly interesting to say, but yammers on anyway... and truth be told, I must put myself in this category, hence this screed of self-loathing you are currently no doubt enjoying... (no worries, I loathe you as well...)

I truly fear that I am part of the problem and not part of the solution... And so I ask myself... (and others guilty of verbal vanity...) What on earth makes you think that anyone is interested in anything you have to say? Who are you? What have you ever accomplished? Are you a noted artist? scholar? writer? scientist? Are you at least humorous?

No?

Then perhaps you might want to think about shutting the fuck up.

Some of you will correctly make the point that I can simply choose to not participate... Others will correctly point out that I'm an incredibly negative and grumpy asshole... No doubt you are correct on both counts...

But seriously folks... Do I really need to know who you went out for sushi with..? Or see the new boots you got on sale..? Or learn that you got really drunk and puked at the AC/DC concert..?

Do we really want our lives to be so lacking in mystery? Doesn't anyone value privacy anymore?

Do I really need to see your tits?

Do I really need to see your tits AGAIN!?

Blogging has led to an epidemic of self-absorption previously unseen upon this mortal coil... we have become a culture of whining narcissists who constantly post our every fart onto twitter, myspace, or facebook ad nauseum... just another virtual toilet for our self-obsessed reality TV shithead culture to vomit itself into.

Are we collectively so fucking empty and pointless and lonely that our only pathway towards love, acceptance and relevance is an avenue paved continuously with the shrill screams of "LOOK AT ME!" repeated every 15 minutes?

Apparently the answer to that question is YES.

So I guess I have a decision to make... do I continue flinging poo like a hopped up chimp or do I find something better to do...?

My money is on the chimp...

Send hate mail accordingly.

(The above was written while experiencing a severe migraine, therefore I cannot be held responsible for this rambling mess... and yes, I know... I'm mean...)




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