The Ugly American Visits The UN

To be fair, he was just doing his job... just going through a script that was no doubt fully vetted and written for him...

To be unfair, he was perpetuating a myth... a pack of lies... presenting the UN as an unyielding champion of human rights... as this great organization that only exists to do good in the world...

The "he" I am speaking of was the poor Italian chap who had the utter misfortune of being my tour guide around the UN in Vienna this morning... he was handsome, fluent in several languages, and engaging... I looked forward to his presentation...

My assault began quickly... he took us into a large circular room that contained all of the flags of the 192 member states of the UN... he pointed out the various flags of the other members in my group and they smiled and took pictures... I, of course, had to be the sand in the Vaseline... I asked where the Kurdish flag was... and the Palestinian one... and the Tamil one... and the Tibetan one...

I watched as the color left his face (oh no, a troublemaker...) and he correctly informed me that these were not actual "countries" and therefore not represented... So I asked him about the UN charter of human rights, in which the preamble states: "The recognition of the inherent dignity and of the equal and inalienable rights of all members of the human family is the foundation of freedom, justice and peace in the world”

His cheeks were now getting rosy...

I asked, are people not represented by an official country undeserving of basic human rights? Who speaks for them? Do Turkey, Iraq and Iran represent the interests of the Kurds? Do the Israelis look out for the Palestinians? China for Tibet? You see, this is where the UN fails... I explained my fierce opinion that ethnic groups with grievances towards their captors deserve a seat at the table... His response was a weak attempt at placating me with some party line nonsense that I don't even care to remember... Instead of really being interested in the basic human rights of the unrepresented, the UN is about as inclusive as an all-white golf cub in Georgia.

Next we waddled over to the UN peacekeepers display... where we were informed about the great success of their mission... having been a UN peacekeeper, this subject was close to my heart...

I asked him about the Srebrenica massacre, where Dutch UN peacekeepers stood idly by while a bunch of blood thirsty Serbs led by war criminal Ratko Mladić slaughtered 8,300 men and boys... I asked if he had read "Shake Hands with the Devil", in which General Romeo Dallaire recounted how the UN left him (due to pressure from the Clinton White House, who were scared of a repeat of Somalia, and France, who supported the Hutus cause, fearing a loss of French influence in Rwanda) and his peacekeepers swinging in the wind as Hutu militia slaughtered nearly 800,000 Tutsis... and what of the continuing failure to prevent genocide or provide assistance in Darfur? And what of the situation in Gaza?

At this point the others in my group were getting a little scared as I may have been foaming at the mouth... but I felt a point had to made... you can't just run around and say the UN is a powerful force for good when it fails miserably at the ONE THING its supposed to do more than anything else... which is protect the lives of the innocent... not to say there haven't been successes... at least they aren't butchering each other in the Balkans... for now...

We took a jaunt over to the IAEA (International Atomic Energy Agency) where he told of the UN's aims to stop the spread of nuclear weapons via the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty. There are currently 189 countries party to the treaty, five of which have nuclear weapons: United States, United Kingdom, France, Russia, and China (the permanent members of the UN Security Council)... all well and good... but when four major nuclear powers, India, Israel, Pakistan and North Korea refuse to sign the treaty then what good is it?

Four out of nine give the UN the finger? Those aren't real good odds when you are talking about the atomic bomb.

On a side note, at least India, Pakistan and North Korea openly admit to having the bomb... while Israel chooses the time honored strategy of "don't ask, don't tell". Even Iran played along and signed the damn thing, not that they'll actually have to abide by it... because the UN is all smoke and no fire...

We took a look at Dr. Mohamed ElBaradei's Nobel Peace medal... you know... the one he was awarded for stopping the US from pre-emptively invading Iraq because they had "nucular" weapons... oops... wrong again...

It went on and on... over to the IMF (International Monetary Fund) where we were told how they manage the global economy and lend money to the poor... at this point my ears were bleeding profusely...

Really? Manage the global economy? Ask Argentina how that worked out in 2001... Or ask the Icelanders how that is working out for them right about now... Ask the rest of us the same question a year from now... If by "managing" you mean "stealing, grifting and manipulating" well then, you are correct sir...

And the lending of money to poorer countries? Fucking hilarious... if by "lending" you mean "forcing" third world governments to take on loans they can never repay so that richer nations may rape their natural resources for pennies on the dollar... Its all in how you define things I guess...

As far as I am concerned the IMF is nothing more than the mafia in a bunny suit...

On to the outer-space display... making it safe for banking and marketing interests to follow our every move and buying habits via satellite... due to the RFID chips implanted in our passports, credit cards and driver's licenses... Gee... I loved being tracked like inventory... or livestock...

Over to the "War on Drugs" display... where he proudly told us of the UN's effort to rid Afghanistan of heroin production... I then proudly told him that the US Army made devil deals with poppy growing Afghan warlords... "You make nice, we leave you alone... see no, hear no..."

At this point I was seething... The poor Italian kid was rather flummoxed and worse yet, didn't seem to know what the hell I was roaring about... Surely this couldn't be true... he worked for the UN after all... he had the proper ID, the nice black suit; he was educated and spoke several languages...

And then it occurred to me... he was just another wheel in the machine... much in the same way I was when I was in the military... before I became an annoying, enlightened, wannabe "illuminati"... I shook his hand and gave him a tip... he was a good kid and did his best...

Let me finish by saying that I actually do believe the UN could be a force for good if it actually followed its charter and behaved in a ethical and moral fashion... I'd be in favor of a much stronger and more inclusive UN, not rigged towards Western banking interests... but then again, I'm naive...

Maybe I'll tour OPEC tomorrow... kick over a shithouse or two over there...

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It Is Good To Be King

I was always under the impression that in a democracy, government decisions are made in a democratic manner... as in, a bill is introduced... there is debate... (money and favors are exchanged) and then the bill is either passed or vetoed... It's all right here in this helpful video below in case you wish to brush up on your civics...



However it seems as though civics have changed somewhat since I attended grade school... apparently when you are the president, you also adopt the powers of an infallible monarch...

Who knew?

As you read this, Georgy Porgy's goon squad is racing through the slick brass and marble hallways of DC, greasing the palms of death minions, litigious stooges, gutter snipes, murdering military industrialists, corporate whores, death cronies, and grimy fisted lobbyists with every last shekel they could scrounge up...

Damned be the environment, damned be the economy, damned be democracy... What we've got here is the glorified back end of favoritism, nepotism, and cronyism in action... there are fat pimpled albino asses to be kissed... white elephants to be celebrated... Satan babies to be spawned... Yep... line right up at the George W. Bush kissin' booth for some right on right wing tongue twistin' action... (Special announcement: Would all bankers please report to the Hank Paulson sauna complex for your complimentary reach-around...)

By the time George relocates to his all white gated community in Texas on January 21st, a whole new and improved cornucopia of greed called "Midnight Regulations" will have hit the ledgers...

You see... There is a gaping loophole in US law which allows a sitting president to pass last-minute legislation into the Code of Federal Regulations, which for all practical purposes, makes them law... without ANY approval from Congress...

Let freedom ring!!!

To be fair, other presidents have used this loophole to extend their agenda past their sell-by date, but W. is taking to it with the vigor of a drunken frat-boy attached to the business end of a beer bong on his 21st birthday... This is, in all essence, George's final "fuck you" statement to us all... his middle finger extended... thumbing his nose... his tongue wagging... his naked ass mooning out the school bus window for all to admire...

While the media obsesses over sociopath governors, dead toddlers and auto bailouts... While most Americans are wondering if they'll have jobs or homes tomorrow... While most of America is in a perpetual state of carbohydrate induced bliss... W. is using brilliant sleight of hand to gift his partners in crime one last box of legislative confections... the introduction of weakened workplace safety measures, rollbacks on environmental and endangered species acts, legislation that inhibits a woman's right to choose, and NRA goodies that will make certain more of our unstable citizenry will be packing heat at your kid's soccer game...

George's gift basket of ill-repute also includes the time-honored Republican standard of "self-regulation"... because lord knows that you can trust bankers, oilmen, accountants, brokerages, and insurance companies to regulate themselves much in the same way you could trust that Nero's starving lions wouldn't treat the Christians as delicious, meaty cat toys...

Obama's team will have their work cut out for them if they wish to roll back any of these new laws... you see, undoing a law puts it into the open, where a long and expensive litigious process has to take place before it can finally be rescinded. It's not like the Obama administration will have anything better to do other than clean up one more in a long list of unsolvable clusterfucks left in the wake of the USS Incompetence...

Let's take a gander at some of the pain Bush is about to bring:

The introduction of legislation which allows coal companies to dump waste from strip-mining into valleys and streams. (Nothing better than chopping off the top of a mountain and then filling in a valley... call it "landscaping" or "Oklahoma-ization")

The introduction of legislation that will allow the building of coal-fired power stations near national parks. (Because nothing says family vacation better than a case of black lung...)

The introduction of legislation allowing people to carry loaded and concealed weapons in national parks. (Because nothing says family vacation better than a sucking chest wound...)

The introduction of legislation allowing health care workers to opt out of giving treatment for religious or moral reasons, thereby putting a woman's right to choose at risk, among other things... (hmmm... just who I want treating me in the ER trauma center as I'm bleeding to death... a Jehovah's Witness who doesn't believe in blood transfusions...)

The introduction of legislation that will allow truck drivers to continue driving for 11 consecutive hours. (Ah yes... what could be better than a completely tweaked out of his mind long hauler with anger management issues listening to a Toby Keith cd locked on repeat... Hey folks, here is some unsolicited investment advice... purchase some shares of Red Bull and crystal meth...)

The introduction of legislation surrendering government control of rerouting the rail transport of hazardous materials around densely populated areas... (Remember to breathe deeply when that misty cyanide cloud hits your humble abode... you'll go quicker that way...)

The introduction of legislation that will allow millions of acres to be mined for oil shale... (Hmmmm... maybe this last one we can do something about...)

Wanna be a tiny thorn in their side?

The NDRC (led by such luminaries as Robert Redford, Leo DiCaprio, Billy Joe Armstrong, among others...) is launching an emergency campaign to stop Bush from awarding over 160,000 acres of pristine Utah canyonlands to oil and gas speculators on December 19th. These remote canyons have been unspoiled for thousands of years... and if Bush has his way, they will be destroyed beyond repair...

You can sign the petition here:

Stop Bush's Giveaway of America's Redrock Wilderness

My god, at long last, is there nothing these people will not destroy in order to obtain gooey black muck? Never mind that oil prices will have to be at least $200 a barrel (that should tell you where the price of gas is headed...) for such an exercise to be profitable, because this oil is deep and literally within the sediment... it has to be cooked out, a long and poisonous process that is costly in more ways than one can imagine...

So yeah... let's keep looking for pristine areas to destroy, let's keep looking for that last fix to get us through the long dark night that the end of oil has planned for us... let's raze the whole fucking planet looking for anything combustible until all that is left is carbon dust, and then let's burn that as well...

On a completely unrelated note, the Fed just dropped rates to ZERO... so there you have it folks... free money... everything is going to be JUST FINE...

Have a peachy day...

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