The Ugly American Visits The UN

To be fair, he was just doing his job... just going through a script that was no doubt fully vetted and written for him...

To be unfair, he was perpetuating a myth... a pack of lies... presenting the UN as an unyielding champion of human rights... as this great organization that only exists to do good in the world...

The "he" I am speaking of was the poor Italian chap who had the utter misfortune of being my tour guide around the UN in Vienna this morning... he was handsome, fluent in several languages, and engaging... I looked forward to his presentation...

My assault began quickly... he took us into a large circular room that contained all of the flags of the 192 member states of the UN... he pointed out the various flags of the other members in my group and they smiled and took pictures... I, of course, had to be the sand in the Vaseline... I asked where the Kurdish flag was... and the Palestinian one... and the Tamil one... and the Tibetan one...

I watched as the color left his face (oh no, a troublemaker...) and he correctly informed me that these were not actual "countries" and therefore not represented... So I asked him about the UN charter of human rights, in which the preamble states: "The recognition of the inherent dignity and of the equal and inalienable rights of all members of the human family is the foundation of freedom, justice and peace in the world”

His cheeks were now getting rosy...

I asked, are people not represented by an official country undeserving of basic human rights? Who speaks for them? Do Turkey, Iraq and Iran represent the interests of the Kurds? Do the Israelis look out for the Palestinians? China for Tibet? You see, this is where the UN fails... I explained my fierce opinion that ethnic groups with grievances towards their captors deserve a seat at the table... His response was a weak attempt at placating me with some party line nonsense that I don't even care to remember... Instead of really being interested in the basic human rights of the unrepresented, the UN is about as inclusive as an all-white golf cub in Georgia.

Next we waddled over to the UN peacekeepers display... where we were informed about the great success of their mission... having been a UN peacekeeper, this subject was close to my heart...

I asked him about the Srebrenica massacre, where Dutch UN peacekeepers stood idly by while a bunch of blood thirsty Serbs led by war criminal Ratko Mladić slaughtered 8,300 men and boys... I asked if he had read "Shake Hands with the Devil", in which General Romeo Dallaire recounted how the UN left him (due to pressure from the Clinton White House, who were scared of a repeat of Somalia, and France, who supported the Hutus cause, fearing a loss of French influence in Rwanda) and his peacekeepers swinging in the wind as Hutu militia slaughtered nearly 800,000 Tutsis... and what of the continuing failure to prevent genocide or provide assistance in Darfur? And what of the situation in Gaza?

At this point the others in my group were getting a little scared as I may have been foaming at the mouth... but I felt a point had to made... you can't just run around and say the UN is a powerful force for good when it fails miserably at the ONE THING its supposed to do more than anything else... which is protect the lives of the innocent... not to say there haven't been successes... at least they aren't butchering each other in the Balkans... for now...

We took a jaunt over to the IAEA (International Atomic Energy Agency) where he told of the UN's aims to stop the spread of nuclear weapons via the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty. There are currently 189 countries party to the treaty, five of which have nuclear weapons: United States, United Kingdom, France, Russia, and China (the permanent members of the UN Security Council)... all well and good... but when four major nuclear powers, India, Israel, Pakistan and North Korea refuse to sign the treaty then what good is it?

Four out of nine give the UN the finger? Those aren't real good odds when you are talking about the atomic bomb.

On a side note, at least India, Pakistan and North Korea openly admit to having the bomb... while Israel chooses the time honored strategy of "don't ask, don't tell". Even Iran played along and signed the damn thing, not that they'll actually have to abide by it... because the UN is all smoke and no fire...

We took a look at Dr. Mohamed ElBaradei's Nobel Peace medal... you know... the one he was awarded for stopping the US from pre-emptively invading Iraq because they had "nucular" weapons... oops... wrong again...

It went on and on... over to the IMF (International Monetary Fund) where we were told how they manage the global economy and lend money to the poor... at this point my ears were bleeding profusely...

Really? Manage the global economy? Ask Argentina how that worked out in 2001... Or ask the Icelanders how that is working out for them right about now... Ask the rest of us the same question a year from now... If by "managing" you mean "stealing, grifting and manipulating" well then, you are correct sir...

And the lending of money to poorer countries? Fucking hilarious... if by "lending" you mean "forcing" third world governments to take on loans they can never repay so that richer nations may rape their natural resources for pennies on the dollar... Its all in how you define things I guess...

As far as I am concerned the IMF is nothing more than the mafia in a bunny suit...

On to the outer-space display... making it safe for banking and marketing interests to follow our every move and buying habits via satellite... due to the RFID chips implanted in our passports, credit cards and driver's licenses... Gee... I loved being tracked like inventory... or livestock...

Over to the "War on Drugs" display... where he proudly told us of the UN's effort to rid Afghanistan of heroin production... I then proudly told him that the US Army made devil deals with poppy growing Afghan warlords... "You make nice, we leave you alone... see no, hear no..."

At this point I was seething... The poor Italian kid was rather flummoxed and worse yet, didn't seem to know what the hell I was roaring about... Surely this couldn't be true... he worked for the UN after all... he had the proper ID, the nice black suit; he was educated and spoke several languages...

And then it occurred to me... he was just another wheel in the machine... much in the same way I was when I was in the military... before I became an annoying, enlightened, wannabe "illuminati"... I shook his hand and gave him a tip... he was a good kid and did his best...

Let me finish by saying that I actually do believe the UN could be a force for good if it actually followed its charter and behaved in a ethical and moral fashion... I'd be in favor of a much stronger and more inclusive UN, not rigged towards Western banking interests... but then again, I'm naive...

Maybe I'll tour OPEC tomorrow... kick over a shithouse or two over there...

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quod fabula revolvo...

Walking along these ancient streets I am enthralled and mystified… math, science, justice and law were discussed here at length… politics were argued… armies were raised… conspiracy, deceit, decadence and dogma were unwound and brought forth into reality… of these facts I am aware…

But what I was painfully unaware of is that nearly all the remnants of what we consider to be hallowed ancient Rome was either ransacked for building materials or used as dumping ground for scrap… I never would have guessed that the Home Depot and the Coliseum would have had so much in common… It wasn’t until the 18th century that the Romans actually sought to preserve some of their heritage… they kept accidentally excavating giant carved heads and columns until someone got religion and said “Hey, shouldn’t we preserve this instead of carving another marble bathtub?”

I stood inside the Pantheon today… a building so perfect in architectural design that it has stood for nearly 2000 years… the circular 142 foot dome was made up of lime paste mixed with sandy volcanic ash, pumice, and some crushed rock… in other words… CONCRETE. By comparision, the foundation of my garage was poured 2 years ago and is already cracking like a stale sugar cookie… Makes we wonder what we’ll leave behind…

WalMarts and pick-a-part auto graveyards…

We don’t give favor to even our most revered examples of Americana… even something as culturally significant as Yankee Stadium will meet the wrecking ball later this year… we don’t care… out with the old, in with the new… (or even worse… in with the “faux old”… at least in Europe they employ the practice of restoring the old facades while designing spectacularly modern structures to sit alongside them… with mixed results…)


Rome, for all its lore and splendor, was just another throwaway, consumer based economy based on slave labor… their armies spread thin, far and wide... their banks lent too much and then debased the money supply in order to make up for their losses, and when the gold became scarce, the entertainment was ramped up in order to dull the masses to the fact that their bread was about to become scarce and their lives even scarcer…

quod fabula revolvo...

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8 Years, 8 Minutes

This just crossed my path and I thought it was something everyone should see... My only criticism lies in the belief that this overview is far too broad and leaves far too much by the wayside, but then again, Keith only had eight minutes to burn...

Trust me on this... there are a million other bomblets set to explode in the wake of this idiot's departure... the lives of children not yet born will be profoundly affected by what has transpired these past eight years...

I hope "Hope" has plenty of carbohydrates...

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S.P.Q.R.

So I find myself in the eternal city… Roma…

So much has changed since this city-state ruled the world… and yet… so much hasn’t…

Despite all of our “enlightenment”, all of our technological advances… the human condition remains painfully static…

Armies fighting costly wars of imperialism… a quarrelling senate, economic strife, rampant elitism, currency manipulation… along with pointless decadence… bread and circus…

This is where it all began… our modern civilization (if you can call it that)… of course the Greeks and Egyptians might have issues with that statement (and cultures before them) … but so much of our collective modern culture can be tied directly to what transpired under the Roman Empire… and to my amazement, we haven’t seemed to learn from their mistakes…

Are we merely hamsters on the wheel of perpetual failure..?

Hegel’s paradox tells us that “man has a history of failing to learn from history”

Let that rattle around in your noggin’ for a bit…

This place has me perplexed… I’ve been here before… a few times in fact… I want to love Rome, but I don’t get the impression that she wants to love me back… so here we are, at an impasse…

I am looking for her soul but so far I haven’t found it… maybe it’s because of where I am…

I am staying at a spectacular hotel at the top of the Spanish Steps… so spectacular that if I were to actually use the mini-bar I’d have to sell my car to pay the bill… The kind of place where internet cost 23E ($30) a day… where the only way to get a 7E ($10) cup of tea is to order it via room service, who slap another 10E onto the bill for their pleasure… (yes… the trip upstairs to your room costs more than the cup of tea itself…)

Oh how I wish I was a Saudi prince…

And what is it with European bathtubs… are they made for Lilliputians? And why must every shower entail a raging battle between me and the shower curtain… (the shower curtain is winning so far but I swear I’ll leave that clammy bastard bleeding and shivering on the cold marble floor before I check out…)

And the food… what the hell happened the food? So far it’s been watery pasta sauce and particle board pizza… and the cold minestrone at the Vatican had me doing the porcelain shuffle for a good 24 hours… (Damn Catholics… getting me back for a lifetime of blasphemy…)

Have Italians lost pride in their cuisine? (ok… I did have some pretty good risotto…) I lived in Italy for three years in the eighties and if memory serves me, the grub was nothing less than spectacular... I’m not one for fancy restaurants… I enjoy doing the Anthony Bourdain thing… eating where the locals eat… maybe it’s because I’m in a touristy area… maybe it’s because it’s the off season… maybe they think that I won’t know any better because I’m a dumb American… who knows… but I’ve had a couple meals here that make the Olive Garden seem like haute cuisine in comparison… as a corpulent foodie I must state that I am profoundly disappointed…

Back to the Vatican… extremely beautiful and impressive place… and yet… if you really pay attention… something horrifically sinister lies beneath… the extortion of souls… As I walked along the halls of the museum I could not help but think of all Catholic history not represented there… persecution, enslavement, unchecked power… guilt, fear, and punishment… ruinous crusades, perverse inquisitions, the slaughter and forced conversion of native peoples, the hoarding of treasure, collaborations with fascists, and last but not least rampant pedophilia…

No mention of any of these things from a church that prides itself on “la boca de verita” (the mouth of truth)

Ah well… I’ll be excommunicating myself to Vienna on Friday…

More to come…

Ciao.

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It Is Good To Be King

I was always under the impression that in a democracy, government decisions are made in a democratic manner... as in, a bill is introduced... there is debate... (money and favors are exchanged) and then the bill is either passed or vetoed... It's all right here in this helpful video below in case you wish to brush up on your civics...



However it seems as though civics have changed somewhat since I attended grade school... apparently when you are the president, you also adopt the powers of an infallible monarch...

Who knew?

As you read this, Georgy Porgy's goon squad is racing through the slick brass and marble hallways of DC, greasing the palms of death minions, litigious stooges, gutter snipes, murdering military industrialists, corporate whores, death cronies, and grimy fisted lobbyists with every last shekel they could scrounge up...

Damned be the environment, damned be the economy, damned be democracy... What we've got here is the glorified back end of favoritism, nepotism, and cronyism in action... there are fat pimpled albino asses to be kissed... white elephants to be celebrated... Satan babies to be spawned... Yep... line right up at the George W. Bush kissin' booth for some right on right wing tongue twistin' action... (Special announcement: Would all bankers please report to the Hank Paulson sauna complex for your complimentary reach-around...)

By the time George relocates to his all white gated community in Texas on January 21st, a whole new and improved cornucopia of greed called "Midnight Regulations" will have hit the ledgers...

You see... There is a gaping loophole in US law which allows a sitting president to pass last-minute legislation into the Code of Federal Regulations, which for all practical purposes, makes them law... without ANY approval from Congress...

Let freedom ring!!!

To be fair, other presidents have used this loophole to extend their agenda past their sell-by date, but W. is taking to it with the vigor of a drunken frat-boy attached to the business end of a beer bong on his 21st birthday... This is, in all essence, George's final "fuck you" statement to us all... his middle finger extended... thumbing his nose... his tongue wagging... his naked ass mooning out the school bus window for all to admire...

While the media obsesses over sociopath governors, dead toddlers and auto bailouts... While most Americans are wondering if they'll have jobs or homes tomorrow... While most of America is in a perpetual state of carbohydrate induced bliss... W. is using brilliant sleight of hand to gift his partners in crime one last box of legislative confections... the introduction of weakened workplace safety measures, rollbacks on environmental and endangered species acts, legislation that inhibits a woman's right to choose, and NRA goodies that will make certain more of our unstable citizenry will be packing heat at your kid's soccer game...

George's gift basket of ill-repute also includes the time-honored Republican standard of "self-regulation"... because lord knows that you can trust bankers, oilmen, accountants, brokerages, and insurance companies to regulate themselves much in the same way you could trust that Nero's starving lions wouldn't treat the Christians as delicious, meaty cat toys...

Obama's team will have their work cut out for them if they wish to roll back any of these new laws... you see, undoing a law puts it into the open, where a long and expensive litigious process has to take place before it can finally be rescinded. It's not like the Obama administration will have anything better to do other than clean up one more in a long list of unsolvable clusterfucks left in the wake of the USS Incompetence...

Let's take a gander at some of the pain Bush is about to bring:

The introduction of legislation which allows coal companies to dump waste from strip-mining into valleys and streams. (Nothing better than chopping off the top of a mountain and then filling in a valley... call it "landscaping" or "Oklahoma-ization")

The introduction of legislation that will allow the building of coal-fired power stations near national parks. (Because nothing says family vacation better than a case of black lung...)

The introduction of legislation allowing people to carry loaded and concealed weapons in national parks. (Because nothing says family vacation better than a sucking chest wound...)

The introduction of legislation allowing health care workers to opt out of giving treatment for religious or moral reasons, thereby putting a woman's right to choose at risk, among other things... (hmmm... just who I want treating me in the ER trauma center as I'm bleeding to death... a Jehovah's Witness who doesn't believe in blood transfusions...)

The introduction of legislation that will allow truck drivers to continue driving for 11 consecutive hours. (Ah yes... what could be better than a completely tweaked out of his mind long hauler with anger management issues listening to a Toby Keith cd locked on repeat... Hey folks, here is some unsolicited investment advice... purchase some shares of Red Bull and crystal meth...)

The introduction of legislation surrendering government control of rerouting the rail transport of hazardous materials around densely populated areas... (Remember to breathe deeply when that misty cyanide cloud hits your humble abode... you'll go quicker that way...)

The introduction of legislation that will allow millions of acres to be mined for oil shale... (Hmmmm... maybe this last one we can do something about...)

Wanna be a tiny thorn in their side?

The NDRC (led by such luminaries as Robert Redford, Leo DiCaprio, Billy Joe Armstrong, among others...) is launching an emergency campaign to stop Bush from awarding over 160,000 acres of pristine Utah canyonlands to oil and gas speculators on December 19th. These remote canyons have been unspoiled for thousands of years... and if Bush has his way, they will be destroyed beyond repair...

You can sign the petition here:

Stop Bush's Giveaway of America's Redrock Wilderness

My god, at long last, is there nothing these people will not destroy in order to obtain gooey black muck? Never mind that oil prices will have to be at least $200 a barrel (that should tell you where the price of gas is headed...) for such an exercise to be profitable, because this oil is deep and literally within the sediment... it has to be cooked out, a long and poisonous process that is costly in more ways than one can imagine...

So yeah... let's keep looking for pristine areas to destroy, let's keep looking for that last fix to get us through the long dark night that the end of oil has planned for us... let's raze the whole fucking planet looking for anything combustible until all that is left is carbon dust, and then let's burn that as well...

On a completely unrelated note, the Fed just dropped rates to ZERO... so there you have it folks... free money... everything is going to be JUST FINE...

Have a peachy day...

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The Great Carpocalypse

One can't help but notice the difference in how Washington treats Wall Street in comparison to Main Street. The Fed and the Treasury donate great gobs of money in order to rescue failed financial institutions with no strings attached... while the auto industry (you know... people who make things instead of steal things...) has to make concessions and put on a dog and pony show just to borrow a paltry $14 billion... is it me or does something seem out of order here?

In September Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke and Treasury Secretary (and Goldman-Sachs shill) Hank Paulson went boogedy-boo and spooked Congress into approving somewhere in the ballpark of $8.5 trillion in virtual money for their pals in the "banking" industry... To get this bailout they relied on the tried and true All-American traditions of extortion, threats, and bald-faced lies...

Benny and Hank pulled off this heist (let's call it what it is...) while cunningly shunning any possibility of oversight, claiming immunity from any future prosecution, and illegally altering tax law without anyone's knowledge or approval... Most of the money, about $5.5 trillion, comes from the Federal Reserve, which as an independent entity does not need congressional approval to lend money to banks or, in "unusual and exigent circumstances," to other financial institutions. In other words since they get to print it, they also get to decide where it goes, who gets it and who (which would be you and me...) pays for it in the end...

And now we have the Big 3 auto makers... GM, Chrysler (and to a lesser extent Ford), all banging their gold plated tin cups on the table, begging for a measly $14 billion bailout (in relative terms) so they can stay in the business of building cars no one wants...

Last Friday, Republican senators were successful in making sure the Big 3 were denied their auto bailout legislation, on the basis that it didn't provide enough oversight of the ailing companies and could end up being a huge waste of taxpayer money.

Oh really?

So it was the lack of oversight that got them religion... and concern over wasted money?

Where the hell were Republican Senators McConnell, Shelby and Corker during the $8.5 trillion bank bailout? Am I supposed to assume that the OTC derivative disaster is all cleaned up and that the banks have a plan for solvency? Absolute bullshit. (And isn't it interesting that Senators McConnell, Shelby and Corker all come from states which subsidize foreign auto makers... hmmm... and yet, they refuse to assist the domestic auto makers... who are their direct competition... surely that has nothing to do with their militant stance on this... surely not...)

It smacks of vicious irony that Congress appropriates hundreds of billions of dollars with lightning speed and no questions asked to banks whose greed and criminality destroyed the global economy while holding a carrot and stick over the heads of a major industry brought to its knees by this financial armageddon.

Understand this brilliant logic... they are deeply concerned over $14 billion, but not at all worried about $8.5 trillion... Well kids, that gives a whole new meaning to that tired old phrase "penny wise and dollar foolish"...

I am against bailouts in principle... in a free market economy, businesses should be allowed to prosper or fail based upon their ability to compete... but we don't have (nor have we ever had) a free market economy... we have a rigged ponzi scheme and in the spirit of fairness (HA!) if the ruling classes are going to get bailed out, then the same should apply to people who actually work for a living...

Hell, what do they care? Its all just pixel money anyhow... it came from nowhere and that is exactly where it is going... just numbers that are transferred from bank to bank, akin to a swirling death matrix bent on devouring itself...

C'mon... why not let us all go down in blaze of diabetic coma induced glory... give every man, woman and child a million dollars and let the chaos of mass consumption savagely reign upon every culturally devoid hellhole of a shopping mall across this great busted land...

You got a better idea? Yeah? I didn't think so...

Ok... back to reality...

Let us take a look at the numbers to get a better perspective of what is actually on the table... First of all, $14 billion is a mere 2% of the $700 bailout TARP fund we've given to banks... but wait, it gets worse... that $700 billion is less than one tenth of the $8.5 TRILLION already committed to financial rescue initiatives...

So... Just how much money is $8.5 trillion? Well, its damn near 60 percent of the estimated gross domestic product of the United States of America.

Current Score: Wall Street $8.5 trillion, Detroit $0
(Looks as if the Lions aren't the only losers in the Motor City...)

It is important to note that as with anything involving governments and spending, the true cost to taxpayers will likely be far greater than what appears on the current ledger. Given the unprecedented size and complexity of these programs and the fact that many have never been tried before, it's impossible to predict how much they will cost taxpayers. The final tally won't be known until most of us are pushing up daisies... but our great grandkids will know, that is for damn sure... and they'll be cursing our names...

Jim Rogers (one of the world's most brilliant investors) says that US banks are flat busted. Jim Rogers knows his shit. This is nothing more than don't ask, don't tell economics, as the balance sheets of these troubled banks are nothing but pure fantasy. Where is the oversight when it comes to the banks, who are the ones responsible for this entire mess? And let's not forget that it was the Republicans' lack of oversight in the financial sector that led to the disastrous economic conditions beyond the control of the automakers... As credit and jobs vanished, so did car sales.

Not that I mind conditions for loaning money... One can't deny that the Big 3 have been severely derelict in modernizing their designs and business practices. You could demand that Detroit design and sell vehicles that reduce our dependency on foreign oil. You could demand that the management be given a pink slip. You could demand that they design and build light rail and other green friendly modes of mass transit...

But nooooooooooo... According to the Republican senators, the failure of the entire auto industry was due to organized labor... Their sole demand was a $20 an hour cut in union wages, pension and health care.

Might I ask what concessions they demanded from the Wall Street bankers? Or did the Republican wing of the senate force concessions from low level bank tellers before approving the wholesale giveaway of our economic future? I presume when the airlines come for their handouts (trust me, it's coming) the flight attendants will take the fall for that industry's failure...

Using that logic, the failure of the Iraq war should be blamed on the lower enlisted troops and not the idiots at the Pentagon... perhaps the Republicans would like the soldiers to take a pay cut as well...

Hey, shit rolls downhill, right?

This should be seen for what it is... as nothing more than a concerted effort by the Republicans to destroy the UAW, one of he last bastions of organized labor in this country... so incensed are they with the working middle class that they have chosen to throw them out into the street...

Do the Republican Senators understand that if they deny assistance to Detroit, millions more jobs will be lost? The short answer is yes... and you want to know why?

Because the sinking of the domestic auto industry will saddle Obama with an even more catastrophic economy, one that will tank his administration the minute he takes his oath (Sorry to be a bummer, but he's pretty much screwed as it is...) Understand that we are in the midst of a class war here... there will be no grace period, no honeymoon, no spirit of bipartisanship with the Obama presidency. The Republican wing of the senate are doing everything in their power to make certain that Obama starts his presidency in reverse, with four flat tires, a blown engine and a Denver boot on each wheel.

Even Dick Cheney emerged from his undisclosed tomb to state that if the auto bailout doesn't get done it's Herbert Hoover time for the Republican party... the Bush Administration does not want this whole thing to go to shit on their watch... It is quite obvious that the Republican Congress has cut themselves off from their "great" Oxford ducking leader and gone rogue... These idiots are so full of loathing that they are blinded to the consequences of their actions. If the Republican senators hang the northern industrial states out to dry they can say goodbye to any support for at least a generation... or two...

These guys hate unions with a passion... they hate everything unions stand for... fair wages, health care, workplace safety, pensions, affirmative action and the fact that the unions overwhelmingly supported Barack Obama for president.

Here is an idea... Do you really want to get rid of unions? Then fucking pay people a decent living wage in a safe environment... treat them with respect... had management initially done that, no one would have ever had a reason to start a union in the first place...

If it wasn't for unions we'd still have 12-year-olds working 70-hour weeks in filthy and dangerous dirt floor factories for a dollar a day... like in Pakistan...

But then again, perhaps that is the right wing establishment's goal...

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Duck!

Wouldn't it have been a great coincidence if they had been Nunn Bush loafers?

Nothing frames a successful presidency better than a beginning marred by a stolen election and an ending spent ducking a journalist's fashionable footwear...

By the way, if the symbolism of this act is lost on westerners, getting loafers chucked at your melon is a great insult in the Arab world... The shoe tosser, Muntadar al-Zeidi, a correspondent for Al-Baghdadia television, will no doubt be hailed as a hero...

enjoy...



As for me, I laughed so hard I cried...

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Worst President Ever

The LA Times recently revealed two pages of White House correspondence entitled "Speech Topper on the Bush Record." The feel good memo essentially lends "a few helpful suggestions" to Bush cabinet members and high-level staffers in order to summarize how the Bushy one would prefer his two term choo-choo crash to be remembered... as an "unalloyed success" no less... perhaps "colossal fuckup" would have been more accurate...

Among the memo's bullet points are these whoppers:

* He "kept the American people safe" after 9/11... (I think the operative word here is AFTER...)

* He upheld "the honor and the dignity of his office" (Politspeak for "He didn't get blown in the Oval Office.")

* He "responded with bold measures to prevent an economic meltdown" (Bold Measures?!?!? Prevent?!?!? Excuse me for a moment, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit... all that monkey did was hand our entire economy over to that henchman Hank Paulson so that he could steal the future earnings of our great, great, great grandchildren...)

* "He promised to raise standards and accountability in public schools and delivered the No Child Left Behind Act" (Yeah, he delivered it all right... unfortunately he forgot to fund it... as for the raised standards, can someone please tell why India has more engineers than we have people?!)

* "He lifted the economy through tax cuts" (Actually he briefly "lifted" the economy by deregulating the hell out of it which therefore allowed banking institutions to go hog wild, which in turn brought us the lovely market conditions we enjoy today... along with 533,000 lost jobs in the month of November... but hey, at least they got their taxes cut... permanently)

See folks, it's not so bad... a frown is a smile, only upside down...

Apparently big blue meanies such as yours truly have gotten it all wrong these past eight years... How typical of me to accentuate the negative... Little insignificant things like the epic collapse of the housing market and major banks going tits up... a spiraling stock market and a devalued currency... but hey, I've always wondered what horse meat tastes like... guess I'll soon find out... and I love being served by 80-year-olds working double shifts at IHOP... nothing like hard work and perseverance... until you drop dead... that's the American way!

And will you look over here... flawed intelligence in the flawed run-up to a flawed war, along with over 4,000 dead soldiers and countless civilian casualties... but hey, democracy is messy, you are gonna need to break some eggs to make an omelet... ever try to make an omelet with the barrel of an M16..? Apparently the eggs fight back and even worse, they taste icky...

Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo? Hey... what's wrong with a little frat-house hazing...? so it gotta a little out of hand... stop being such pussies... and besides, everyone knows they are guilty... of having non-western names and brown complexions...

Katrina? Clearly an act of God... and besides, that is all just water over the levees now anyways...

Think your 401K looks bad now? Just imagine if president dunderhead had been able to privatize social security...

And who can forget the Harriet Myers debacle, where he nominated his babysitter to the Supreme Court...

Torture, illegal wiretapping, voter fraud, incompetence, indifference, ideological warfare, secrecy and contempt... and on and on... please stop me before I hurt myself...

We as a nation ask, expect, and deserve competence from our elected officials... What we got from the Bush administration was eight years of theft, lies, and apathy from which it will take at least two generations to recover... if ever... Republicans commonly complain that the Federal Government is incapable of running things... I find that I agree with them, but with the following modification... the Federal Government is incapable of running things when Republicans are in charge... (not that Democrats are that much better, to be honest...)

The Center for Public Integrity undertook a web project of herculean proportions in an attempt to study, document and determine the scope of failure during the Bush era. Thirteen reporters deconstructed hundreds government documents, investigations, budget reports.. they interviewed dozens of experts and government workers... they sent out 5,000 solicitation emails to federal employees... the results overwhelmed the reporters to such degree that they had to pare the list down to 125 from 250 suggested failures...

Below is a short list of forty ways in which the federal government failed to perform under the administration of George W. Bush from 2001-2008:

• 45 million Americans without health care
• 60 percent of EPA scientists report political interference with their work
• 1,273 whistleblower complaints filed from 2002-2008; 1,256 were dismissed
• 190,000 U.S.-supplied weapons missing in Iraq
• $212.3 million in overcharges by Halliburton for Iraq oil reconstruction work
• $455 billion deficit for fiscal year 2008; estimated to reach up to $1 trillion in 2009
• $9.91 billion for government secrecy in 2007 — a record
• 809 government laptops with sensitive information lost by FBI, Drug Enforcement Administration, and Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives
• 30 million pounds of beef recalled in 2007
• $300 billion over budget for Department of Defense weapons acquisitions
• Less than 3 percent of U.S. electricity needs met by alternative energy
• 2,145 troops killed and 21,000 injured in Iraq from March 2003 through November 1, 2008, by IEDs (improvised explosive devices) and other explosives — many while awaiting body armor. Additionally, tens of thousands of Iraqis have been killed in the conflict
• 34.8 percent of oil used in America imported during Nixon administration; 42.2 percent during first Gulf War; 59.9 percent in 2006
• $100 million for failed FBI computer network
• $100 billion in federal tax revenues lost annually to corporations using off-shore tax shelters
• 163 million airline passengers delayed 320 million hours; cost to U.S. economy: more than $41 billion in 2007
• $60 billion stolen in Medicare fraud each year
• 2.5 million toxic toys recalled in summer of 2007
• $12.5 billion for defective National Polar-Orbiting Environmental Satellite System
• $4 billion to upgrade National Security Agency computers that often crash, have trouble talking to each other, and lose key intelligence
• 60,000 flights made by 46 Southwest Airline jets in violation of FAA safety directives due to lax FAA enforcement
• 12.8 percent job turnover at Department of Homeland Security in 2006 — double that of any other cabinet-level agency
• 730,000 backlogged patent applications
• 148,000 troops not enough to secure Iraq, enabling insurgency to take root
• $1 billion, six-year “Reading First” program called ineffective by Department of Education Inspector General
• 20,000 U.S. deaths annually from lack of pollution controls on diesel vehicles and power plants
• 60,000 newborns a year at risk for neurological problems due to mercury emissions from coal-fired power plants
• Two-thirds fewer clean ups of EPA Superfund toxic waste sites during 2001-2006 than in previous six years
• 935 demonstrably false statements in lead-up to Iraq war by President Bush and seven members of his administration
• At least $500 million for FEMA trailers contaminated by formaldehyde occupied by thousands displaced after Hurricane Katrina
• 558 detainees at Guantanamo detention facility reduced to 255 after court-ordered case reviews
• 26 percent of corporations holding at least $250 million in assets audited in 2006; percent audited in 1990: more than 70 percent. IRS audit staff slashed by 30 percent
• $431.5 billion spent on Medicare in 2007, double amount in 2001
• 47 dead in mining accidents in 2006 blamed on lax oversight
• $9 billion in federal oil and gas royalties mismanaged by agency linked to drug-and-sex scandal
• 275 largest U.S. corporations pay, on average, about 17 percent in taxes in 2007, half the standard corporate tax rate
• $45 trillion in credit-default swaps, without federal oversight, in 2007
• 760,800 disability claims backlogged, awaiting hearings at Social Security Administration as of October 2008
• 806,000 Veterans Affairs disability claims in 2006, up 39 percent since 2000; backlog reached 400,000 claims by February 2007
• 2,640 days Osama bin Laden at large since September 11, 2001 (as of December 10, 2008)

Remember folks... this is the list that was edited DOWN...

Is everything on this list George's fault? Of course not... that would be a gross oversimplification. However, I don't think I am editorializing when I say that when all is said and done, George W. Bush will be considered the worst chief executive in this nation's history.

At least he's number one at something...

Barack Obama has a tough act to follow...

GO ON... LEAVE YOUR "THOUGHTS" IN THE COMMENTS SECTION...

Arrested Development

It has been said that timing is everything, so it is only fitting that Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich got himself arrested for corruption on... drumroll please... UN Anti-Corruption Day!!!

The FBI phoned Blagojevich at 6 a.m. Tuesday, telling him of a warrant for his arrest and informing him that there were two FBI agents at his door. Blagojevich's first comment was, "Is this a joke?" (Interesting side note... when Blagojevich was "interviewed" by Jason Jones of the Daily Show two years ago, he didn't comprehend that the interview was a joke... oh the irony...)

Blagojevich, who was charged with conspiracy to commit fraud and solicitation to commit bribery, let friendly union officials and fundraisers know that for the right price, Barack Obama's vacant Illinois Senate seat could be had. Blagojevich was also in the midst of an attempt to raise $2.5 million by the end of the year, before a state anti-corruption law he tried to veto (Obama got the state senate to override it) took effect. This led the Feds to wiretap his phones and the rest is history...

The House of Blagojevich was a “pay to play” operation and the governor had a price... $250,000 to $300,000 a year, and an influential job with a nonprofit foundation or union... and a plum board of directors gig for Mrs. Blagojevich. He even had fantasies of being Obama's Secretary of Health and Human services or an ambassador...

The desire to ingratiate himself into the Obama Administration may well have led to his eventual undoing... Rumor has it the Obama's Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel may have tipped off the FBI to Blagojevich's hair brained scheme... Note to self: Rahm Emanuel is not to be crossed... that G is a straight up gangsta IDF mofo...

Not only was this genius caught on FBI wiretaps conniving to sell in exchange for bribes, the dimwit was fully aware that he was being investigated for fraud and MUST HAVE KNOWN he was under surveillance... Just Monday he challenged reporters stating, "I don't care whether you tape me privately or publicly. I can tell you that whatever I say is always lawful."

Ummmmm... ok... perhaps his definition of lawful is just "different" than ours...

Among some of the "lawful" things he said were these whoppers:

"I've got this thing (the Illinois Senate seat) and it's fucking golden, and I'm just not giving it up for fucking nothing. I'm not gonna do it."

"They're (the Obama Administration) not going to offer me anything of value, I might as well take it, They're not going to give me anything except appreciation. Fuck them."

"Consultants are telling me that I have to suck it up for two years and do nothing and give this motherfucker (the President-elect) his senator. Fuck him. For nothing? Fuck him.”

Sounds like someone saw a few too many episodes of the Sopranos...

The level of Blago's chutzpah even got the typically staid U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald (yes, the prosecutor behind Plamegate) seeing red... "The breadth of corruption laid out in these charges is staggering. They allege that Blagojevich put a ‘for sale' sign on the naming of a United States senator. The Senate seat, as recently as days ago, seemed to be on the verge of being auctioned off. The conduct would make Lincoln roll over in his grave," said Fitzgerald.

Apparently the typical, run of the mill fall from grace didn't pass muster for Blagojevich... you know, getting caught with heroin, or with a prostitute, or with a teenage boy, etc... that must have been deemed as too passe... And based on this assumption, we must at least give Blago points for creativity... Nicely done Rod... I spose if you are gonna go down, you might as well go down in flames...

This cat might well be one of the most brazen idiots in American political history... take a moment to let that rattle around inside your noggin for a minute... think of the competition... that is A LOT of brazen idiots... which leads me to ask the obvious question, how the hell does someone like this get to be a governor?

During his term in Springfield (The state capital of Illinois, where he refused to live in the governor's mansion and commuted from Chicago several times a week via private plane at the cost of $6,000 per round trip...), he has battled friends and foe alike, all the way down to a 4% approval rating (no, that wasn't a typo) according to one poll... Some of his fellow lawmakers have described him as "disengaged" and "dictatorial"... a "madman" and "insane"... a 10-year-old child and yes, a "cuckoo"...

The arrogant SOB even considered appointing himself to the Senate seat, thinking that it might help him avoid impeachment and help rebuild his image for a possible presidential run in 2016...

Yes, you read that correctly... this sociopath had designs on the Oval Office...

Blagojevich also sweated the Chicago Tribune, threatening to withhold state assistance to parent company Tribune Co. in an attempt to force the newspaper into firing editorial writers who had been critical. Supposedly Tribune CEO (and resident evil troll and slumlord) Sam Zell got the message and was very "sensitive" to the issue.

Ah yes, Illinois... where dead people vote early and often, governors go to the big house, and the Cubs have crushed hopes and dreams for 100 years and counting...

As for President-elect Obama... how is he wrapped in all of this?

So far he's not... Prosecutors backed up the president-elect's claim stating that he had no contact with the governor or his office, was not aware of what was happening. However, one can trust that his claim of ignorance won't stop political enemies from pegging this as his first scandal...

GO ON... LEAVE YOUR "THOUGHTS" IN THE COMMENTS SECTION...